Month: October 2016

Why You Should Celebrate the Differences in Your Relationship

Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – Virginia Satir
In these strange days, where prejudices of all kinds are showing their ugly underbelly in the political and legal world we live in, it is time to re-examine one of the basic principles of the process for successful relationships that we teach.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog we asked whether you can avoid drama in your relationship. We found many different approaches to this question, so we have more links than usual this week. Hope you enjoy them!
7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life “For a long time, I lamented all the damaging relationships I’d been in, as if I was some kind of victim who always got the short end of the stick.
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Can you Avoid Drama in Your Relationship? Another Way

Drama, an all too familiar word in many relationships.
“I can’t keep on with this relationship – just too much drama!”
“We really love each other, but there is always so much drama. I wish we could find another way.”
“We have a lot of drama in our relationship, but it shows we both are really involved.”
“We know we care because we each have such strong feelings about everything.”
Yes, there are many ways to react to drama within your relationship, but whatever it means to you, it is a common experience for many.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog we wrote about the process we use to make decisions, solve problems and create mutual solutions. Other articles covering aspects of that:
Effective Listening “Here are a few rules to start the process: Never interrupt when the other person is speaking.
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How to Find Mutual Solutions With Your Partner

Can you avoid conflict in your relationship? Absolutely! And we don’t mean avoid as in ducking out of the room when it looms. No, we’re talking about negotiating differences without descending into recriminations, counter-attacks, hostility, hurt feelings and battle scars. We never go there, and you don’t have to, either.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

This week’s blog covers our anniversary trip during which we wrote independently, only to discover we both covered the themes of total acceptance, being present and making time for each other. As these are core themes of successful relationships, this week we’re linking to blogs we’ve written about these topics.
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How to Celebrate Your Relationship Our Anniversary Trip

For our 9th wedding anniversary we rented an Airbnb in the California Sierra mountains. We were sitting on the bed, luxuriating in being together in peaceful seclusion, and decided to each write our feelings down. Not surprisingly, although we wrote totally independently, and we have different writing styles, we chose to highlight the same three aspects of our relationship; total acceptance, being present, and taking time to be together.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog we wrote about the importance of personal space in a relationship. Here are several articles with personal stories about that.
Forget sex, the secret to a long-lasting relationship is space “When our daughter was six months old and we were struggling with the pressures of being new parents, my partner Stephen asked me if he could join a mountaineering expedition to Pakistan.”
Suffocating in a Relationship?
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How Important is Personal Space in a Successful Relationship?

Both of us have lived in intentional communities and one of the rules in both of them (in different countries and languages) was that each member would have to have their own room. Even back then, we were aware of the need for personal space, especially when living with others.
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