Month: July 2018

How to Blend Connection and Separation in Your Relationship

This week, Maude has been away each night taking care of the grandchildren, and she recently took one of them up to the Bay area for a week. None of this put a ripple in our relationship. We have a constant ease and comfort with each other.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

This week’s blog is about how to avoid compromise in your relationship. Here are some other writers’ takes on this topic.
How Compromise Is Actually Hurting Your Relationship (And What To Do Instead) “Compromise implies that both people have to give up something they want in order to come up with a solution that is tolerable for both.
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How To Avoid Compromise in Your Relationship

“Oh, what I do to keep peace in my relationship!” This was the frequent refrain of a dear friend, and when asked further what he meant by that, he explained “Well it seems I’m always giving something up to keep my partner happy.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

This week’s blog is about how to reach a mutual solution in your relationship. It’s the third of three posts on the spectrum of acceptance. Here are some articles covering how to resolve differences with your partner.
Solve Tough Dilemmas With the Win-Win Waltz This is by Susan Heitler, who we greatly respect for her position on conflicts.
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How to Reach a Mutual Solution in Your Relationship The Spectrum of Acceptance Part 3

We’re coming up to fourteen years together, and it’s still such an easy relationship. That’s because we want to be in a relationship and we want it to be easy. Let’s look at those separately. Firstly, why do we, or you, or anybody want to be in a relationship?
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to look at differences in your relationship. These articles cover various aspects of that.
Deep Acceptance In Relationships “For securely attached adults, differences between them are generally not threatening to the relationship. … For insecurely attached adults (on average one out of three, though people tend to hang out with like-kinds) it’s a whole different ballgame, and this is where things get way more complicated.”
Acceptance: The Foundation of Lasting Relationships “Research suggests that there are fundamentally five ways to deal with disappointment and disillusionment in a romantic partner, each with varying degrees of effectiveness:”
6 Ways to Manage the Differences in Your Relationship “Mary loves romantic comedies.
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How to Look at Differences in Your Relationship The Spectrum of Acceptance Part 2

Squabbles in a relationship are like stones in your shoes; they don’t have to be there. They often come from not fully accepting your partner. Learning about acceptance within a relationship is a way to avoid hobbling along, always being irritated by that stone.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we asked why are core values important in your relationship? Here are some articles that deal with core values, including an exercise to help determine them.
The key for a successful relationship: Aligned values “Aligned values are one the most important things in any relationship.
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Why Are Core Values Important in Your Relationship? The Spectrum of Acceptance Part 1

PHIL: Have you ever been in a relationship where the same issue kept coming up again and again? It may have been twice a week or twice a year, but it was something the two of you could never resolve.
That was a core value.
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