Acceptance Does Not Mean Compromise

kidsOften when people think about the issue of acceptance, they think it is about compromise. Compromise is an act of giving up something to get something else. It assumes that there are different sides, and that one must settle in order to avoid conflict. It does not allow for the possibility that a resolution can be found; a resolution where, instead of giving up or changing something, you can create a solution that was not originally imaginable to either person. Without putting down compromise or its benefits, we are discussing a different path; one that is not about giving up on some part of yourself, your wants and perhaps even needs, but rather a path that by acting in union, allows you to find new mutual solutions.

Excerpt from our forthcoming book  How Two: Have a Successful Relationship

This is a rich topic that has led to many interesting conversations in our interviews with couples. Learning how to find mutual solutions without giving anything up is a wonderful process that strengthens the union between a couple. The almost magical experience of co-creating something new, that is different and better than what either partner had individually, opens up an area that carries over into every aspect of the relationship. This new type of acceptance is a joyful enrichment of every relationship and follows directly on the practices of the Spectrum of Acceptance.

Click on the link in the upper right corner of this page to receive an audio and written version of a chapter from our new book that describes a process which promotes creating mutual solutions. We would love to hear about your experiences and feedback!

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  1. […] different from ours. We do not use compromise for making decisions and reaching agreement. Instead, we have found a process by which neither of us winds up giving anything up. Neither does one of us wind up getting “their […]

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