Author: Phil and Maude

Compromise is Not the Way to Success in Relationships

Everybody copies each other. People take their cues for how to behave from all around, like a flock of birds that wheel in formation. It’s hard to accept this; everyone has a sense of uniqueness and independence, yet people constantly watch and copy each other.
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Posted in compromise, Core Values, Relationships

Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we say that having to work hard in a relationship is a myth. A funny thing happened when we looked for links. Almost all of the articles described the “myth” as being the other way around: that relationships actually do need work.
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Do You Have to Work Hard in a Relationship?

Since words truly have power, we have decided it’s time to tackle some of the misleading words we are inundated with concerning relationships. We are bombarded with information that tells us relationships inevitably have conflict, that we have to work hard in a relationship and that compromise is the path to success.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to stay connected by accepting your partner. These links give a variety of thoughts about this topic.
Marriage Help: Do You Accept Or Tolerate Your Partner? “When your partner tolerates you (or, more accurately, tolerates something about you), s/he has to continuously expend energy in order to suppress feelings of judgment and criticism.
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How to Stay Connected by Accepting Your Partner

We’ve had a very busy week. Maude had mid-month reports and a flood of uncommon work issues, and Phil took on some programming work, which for him is all-consuming. But we noticed last night that through it all, none of this affected our connection with each other; we didn’t withdraw into ourselves or snap at each other.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to handle anger in your relationship. These links discuss how to deal with both your anger and that of your partner.
Anger in Relationships: Owning Yours, Softening Your Partner’s “Anger is not a sign that your relationship is doomed to fail.
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How to Handle Anger in Your Relationship

A friend asked about handling anger in the context of a conflict-free relationship. If the anger is coming from you, first put it into words. Naming emotions is a great way to control them; the more specific, the better. If you’re running around like crazy and can’t even say why, you can’t take charge of it.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we asked what overlooked things are important in a successful relationship. Here are some good posts offering their answers.
Ten Elements of Effective Relationships “The other day, a friend pointed out that I very often write from the perspective of what people are doing wrong, as opposed to what they are doing right.
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What Overlooked Things are Important in a Successful Relationship

We try to write and teach about things that come from our direct experience, rather than from theories of relationships. As often happens, we went to breakfast this Friday morning to choose a blog topic. Maude suggested tone of voice, but felt dismissed when Phil said “Yes, but….” Phil’s response was then interrupted by Maude commenting.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we discuss how being intolerant keeps your relationship in balance. Here are some postings on balance in relationships.
How to Balance a Healthy Love Relationship “Life’s emotional ups and downs can cause conflict in a relationship. Recognize that your partner may react to and solve her problems in a different manner than you do.
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