Author: Phil

Do You Want to Have a Good Relationship?

Do you want to have a good relationship? Of course everybody says yes. But do you intend to have a good relationship? What does that even mean?
It has to do with how you perceive a relationship ought to be, and whether you try to move in that direction at all times.
Click here to read more…

Tagged with:

Core Values

For a relationship to work really well, both people must hold the same deep seated beliefs; if they truly don’t, then some time, somewhere, one person will shock and horrify the other with their behavior.
Two economists might both see the world in transactional terms, where everything has a value, leisure time and work time are tradeoffs, and there is an opportunity cost to everything from love to diapers.
Click here to read more…

Tagged with: , ,

The One I Love

We watched The One I Love last night. It is the story of a troubled couple who go away for a weekend to repair their marriage. The film shows each of the partners vacillating between their open accepting self and their defended suspicious self, and makes the destructive nature of the latter very clear.
Click here to read more…

Tagged with:

Audio Sneak Peek

Home audio studio

We’ve added an audio version to the sneak peek of our upcoming book*. Sign up for our newsletter and listen to it today.
* It almost has a name! We’re in the final stages of picking it. Edit: It’s “How Two: Have a Successful Relationship“
Click here to read more…

Tagged with:

How to Share Mindblowing Intimacy With Your Partner

Michael Russer gave a great TEDx talk on extraordinary intimacy.

One of the chapters in our upcoming book is “Sex, Intimacy and Union“, and when I met with Michael this week, we compared our experiences. The similarities are uncanny. In our respective relationships, we both have a sense of union; of having EXACTLY the same experience as our partner; of each time being unique and going further than ever before.
Click here to read more…

Tagged with: ,

White Lies are Unhealthy in Your Relationship

You read everywhere that white lies are acceptable. It may be so in social circles, but with your partner, it really isn’t the case. Every white lie is a little bit of concealment, a little bit of not showing your true self.
Click here to read more…

Tagged with:

How to Pick the Right Relationship

We all want to be in a great relationship, but so often, what at first seems wonderful doesn’t pan out. Here’s how to make sure you’re in a relationship that will work in the long run.
Don’t try to control your partner.
Click here to read more…

One-third of couples squabble weekly, poll finds

One-third. That’s the weekly squabbling rate according to a poll released last month.
I’m not surprised, just saddened, because it doesn’t have to be like this.
I like to illustrate this with a simple situation which can stand in for nearly any disagreement.
Click here to read more…

Tagged with: , ,

The Paradox of Separateness and Intimacy

Let me respond to your post about this. When your partner treats you as being a different and separate individual, that gives you several freedoms. One is to act independently of them according to your own desires. It might be something like seeing your favorite local group at a bar, playing golf with your buddies or going to jazzercise; whatever it is for you, it is something that brings you joy, and yet your partner does not share that pleasure.
Click here to read more…

Sex is New Each Time

When we come together sexually, we are open to each other. Nothing is hidden, nothing needs to be protected. We pay attention to the other’s sexual energy as much as we do our own.
By such openness, we are also present, and by being present, we focus not on the future and what path the sexual encounter might take, but instead on the sexuality before us.
Click here to read more…

Top