Category: Relationship differences

The Myth of Difference Causing Problems in a Relationship

For the last several weeks we have been writing about the popular myths of work and compromise concerning relationships.
Here are some of the types of statements even the most positive articles put forth:

“Our individual differences make friction between people we care about, inevitable.”
“The bad news is that some degree of effort and agony is inevitable in most relationships.”
“Relationships are hard work.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to stay connected by accepting your partner. These links give a variety of thoughts about this topic.
Marriage Help: Do You Accept Or Tolerate Your Partner? “When your partner tolerates you (or, more accurately, tolerates something about you), s/he has to continuously expend energy in order to suppress feelings of judgment and criticism.
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How to Stay Connected by Accepting Your Partner

We’ve had a very busy week. Maude had mid-month reports and a flood of uncommon work issues, and Phil took on some programming work, which for him is all-consuming. But we noticed last night that through it all, none of this affected our connection with each other; we didn’t withdraw into ourselves or snap at each other.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we discuss how being intolerant keeps your relationship in balance. Here are some postings on balance in relationships.
How to Balance a Healthy Love Relationship “Life’s emotional ups and downs can cause conflict in a relationship. Recognize that your partner may react to and solve her problems in a different manner than you do.
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How Being Intolerant Keeps Your Relationship in Balance

Some areas of behavior are so deeply a part of a relationship that they seem to occur naturally and receive very little conscious attention. These very same areas can often be critical pillars upon which successful relationships are built.
That’s how it is with maintaining balance within your relationship.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

 
In this week’s blog we wrote about choosing how you want your relationship to be. Here are a variety of articles that talk about this, often in the context of writing about the different kinds of relationships that people have.
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Choose How You Want Your Relationship To Be

The other day we were visiting some dear friends who had just moved in together, after they had dated for four years while living separately. They described to us their unique arrangement of sleeping together and sleeping apart. They had decided that they would keep the same pattern (at least in the beginning) that had worked for them when they were living separately.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog we wrote about whether differences are a strength or a weakness in a relationship, and concluded that, except for major differences, they are a positive. This week’s links write about that, including one that is about the benefits of diversity in groups.
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Differences – Strength or Weakness in a Relationship?

Differences are often seen as creating problems and conflict. Three main areas are:

how things are done
styles of socializing
passions

How Things are Done
From the toilet seat and toothpaste to finances and child-rearing, what our partner does affects us.
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He’s Making a List and Checking it Twice

Everybody wants to have a sense of fairness in their relationship, and many people do this by what we call making lists and keeping score.
Maybe you take turns to make dinner, but sometimes your partner is busy and you have to double up, or they offer pizza in exchange for your elaborate feast.
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