We were talking last night, as we often do, about the ease between us. Whether going out, planning the day, working together or relaxing, there is a fluidity, a way of effortlessly choosing a path that works for both of us. We’ve looked in detail at how we do this, both in the book and elsewhere, and I don’t want to reprise that here. Instead, I want to speak about what happened as we repeated this behavior over time.
Every time we related like that, the resultant feeling was delectable, an encouragement for the next time we interacted. The more this happened, the more we could trust that it would happen, and any temptation to behave otherwise faded away. The result is that this has become, more than ever, the way we are together. It has turned into a skill that comes naturally to us, like riding a bicycle. And now we know and understand this way of being together, why would we ever choose any other path? It would be like deliberately falling off a bicycle after learning to ride.
So the point I want to make here is that once you get so much as a glimpse of this way of relating, and a sense of how it arises, it feels so pleasurable and desirable that it quickly becomes the obvious and only way to be together.