The popularly held belief concerning relationships is that all of them have conflict, and that it is how you handle the conflict that is important. In fact it is put forth that if people claim not to have conflict in their relationship, they are suppressing or ignoring reality.
If this viewpoint is altered, even slightly, to say that most relationships have conflict, then it would reflect more of the truth, and even more importantly, leave room for exploration of other avenues of relating. It could set the stage for people to believe in other ways to be together that don’t reflect this one-sided scenario on the inevitabilities of conflict.
Our experience verifies one of those other avenues. We have written many times about the absence of conflict within our relationship. We have outlined the behaviors and characteristics that enable this kind of relating. When we describe this absence of conflict, we are not describing a void, empty of strife and discord. On the contrary, we are sharing an experience of something quite real that fills our time together and carries us through the many vicissitudes of life, the actual experience of peace.
For those who imagine peace as an absence, a waking anesthetic state devoid of conflict, achieved through weak communication and compromise, or any other ideas developed by those who are unfamiliar with the actuality of peace, we say this is far afield!
The peace that we describe is a palpable presence in our life together. We are filled with a sense of calm and safety, and we share a joy that opens up doors to creativity, supporting each of us on our individual paths. The more we practice this kind of being together, the stronger the knowledge of peace becomes. The more we have peace as a living experience in our relationship, the more attractive it becomes. Peace, by its very powerful nature, it crowds out tendencies toward dissonance and alienation.
We live a deeply passionate juicy relationship, which grows continually in intimacy and love. There has been no cooling off period in our eleven years together, and the solid foundation of peace that we build on supports and nurtures us in all our endeavors. When we call for spreading peace, one relationship at a time, it is this peace that we are referring to.
Many people struggle with conflict in their relationship and we are here to assure you that there is another way. A wonderful way filled with surprise, discovery, growth, joy and health.