We call it our sacred space, a time when we set aside our involvement with the world and come together to revel in each other’s presence. You’ll find advice like this in plenty of relationship articles, usually described as spending quality time with each other. We’d like to go further on what our experience is, and one key aspect is that it consists of adding to the sense of self.
This needs a short digression to explain it fully. Western culture places all its weight on the self, the individual, and also has an obsession with categorizing the world in a binary fashion, as A and not-A. Blame Aristotle and George Boole for this. The result is a reluctance to see anything as something and something else at the same time, and this leads to being trapped in the self, forced to be that and nothing else.
But our experience is that we are each ourselves and also us, as if we are connected in some other dimensions, and we know this not through the usual senses, but in some other way. It is enhanced by touch and sex, but they are not pre-requisites, merely amplifiers. It exists at the same time as our individual selves, and to see it and acknowledge it at all requires relinquishing the idea that we are our self and only our self, and admitting of something else beyond the ego. This connection with spirit, the divine, God or whatever label you choose for this ineffable state is why the word “sacred” seems so appropriate for us.
Bridging the gap between ourselves and another is a transcendent act #quote #relationships Click To TweetA true relationship with another evokes feelings of kinship, even love and the exchange of heart energy. The very act of bridging the gap between ourselves and another is a transcendent act. We move past ourselves to the recognition that there is a self that is not us; in fact, a separate and unique individual. This understanding is the path to a relationship with the divine.
In an intimate partnership relationship, the interactions become imbued with love, respect, appreciation and above all, presence.
When we are with each other, we are both fully present. As a result, each encounter is filled with the unique, with the possibility of something new; we are co-creating our experience. We approach each other with the honor accorded the sacred, not because we have made it a priority (something on a list made important by our minds), but because it is special, holy, not of the mundane. Each time we set aside time, or just encounter each other in the passing of our lives, it brings the experience of this breathtaking phenomenon – we are not the only one here, we are with another, different, and beloved.
As we wrote recently, words are just one way that we understand the world and it is easy to overlook aspects that are not covered by language. This exquisite experience takes place only in the present. True, we bring all that we are to every moment and that includes what we have experienced up until that instant, but the present is not filled with thoughts of the past or projections of the future. It is emptiness filled by what is. And that is sacred.