We’re sure that when you first met your partner, there were many things that you appreciated, and you’ve probably noticed many more since then. But it’s very easy to get used to them little by little until they blend into the backdrop of life. At that point, the cup of coffee that she brings you, those groceries he’s helping to carry in from the car – these little acts often go unrecognized.
When acts like these, whether large or small, are not acknowledged, they atrophy and die. A resentment grows, a sense of not being appreciated. The way to avoid this slide into non responsiveness is to be present. Every cup of coffee becomes its own unique offering, different from every other time. When you truly experience the moments of your life, and don’t take things for granted, life is so much richer and more fulfilling. The same can be said about relationships.
Maude: I was looking at Phil last night and so enjoying the way he smiles and the sound of his voice. I felt wrapped up in his warmth and in his loving feelings and behavior towards me. And it really struck me: I never take our time or this man for granted. I am so appreciative of how open he is and how much he shares of himself with me. It is so fascinating for me to experience this person who is really entirely different than me, even though we share the same core values and many of the same goals and intentions. And while I do feel safe and comfortable and very much accepted and appreciated, I never stop enjoying our shared life and all the little precious moments that make up that life.
One of the great secrets of a successful relationship is not to fall asleep; to treasure your time together. Don’t get so busy, or so filled with work or worldly concerns that you cut off the very antidote to all that external pressure: that wonderful peace that becomes your reality in a relationship with mutual intention.
And do not forget to let your partner know, often and in different creative ways, just how much you appreciate them. Appreciation and acknowledgment are things we all want and need. Everyone wants to be seen for who they truly are. In the case of your partner, who knows who they are better than you?! Taking the time to remark on the little things, to show your enjoyment of your partner and your pleasure in being with them is a small thing which creates big results. Not only does it make your partner feel good, but it lifts your own spirits to to be awake and aware of the joy right in front of you.