Successful Relationship Reading Corner

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In this week’s blog article we wrote about the difference between disagreeing and arguing. Ours is an unorthodox viewpoint, so we were pleased to find some very good articles on this topic.

Beware Of Mistaken Marriage Advice That “All Couples Fight” “Cavemen and cavewomen probably survived by being stronger than others, more aggressive, and quicker at defending themselves in the face of stressful potential conflicts. The modern world survives, by contrast, primarily on abilities to cooperate. Stressful situations that are becoming adversarial between loving partners can escalate into ever more stressful arguments. Alternatively, they can be handled with calm, productive, collaborative talking together (link is external)that dissipates stress and yields creation of mutually comfortable solutions.”

ARGUMENT OR DISAGREEMENT? “What is important to remember is not to avoid all disagreements but to remember to respect the other person’s point of view. If you are too busy trying to get your way, you can easily forget what is important. ”

The Difference Between a Disagreement and a Fight “Just going along with your spouse and forgetting your own wants or needs does not result in a better outcome, unless the disagreement is so minor you will not remember it tomorrow…. If you pursue a Third Alternative, an option each of you finds at least as pleasing as the one your mate turned down, you get two huge benefits.”

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