Successful Relationships Reading Corner

booksIn this week’s blog, we say that having to work hard in a relationship is a myth. A funny thing happened when we looked for links. Almost all of the articles described the “myth” as being the other way around: that relationships actually do need work. Here are some rare exceptions that disagree.

Seven Reasons Why Relationship Feels So Hard Sometimes “Relationships are complex. In a partnership, you have two individuals, with different personalities, ways of relating, expectations, and desires; not to mention differences in family upbringing, gender, culture, class, and beliefs. The list of ways you and your partner can be different is lengthy, but the point is that there are going to be times when you and your partner have vastly different perspectives. When encountering such difference, it is natural and normal to experience discomfort and feel as though there is a problem. However, differences are not inherently bad. They do not have to result in power struggles, arguments, and threats to the relationship.”

The Biggest Relationship Myth “It’s hard to avoid it, the biggest relationship myth. Everyone tells it to us. Family, friends, chick flicks, books, magazines, music lyrics – heck, we even propagate this myth to ourselves.
Relationships are hard work.
Relationships aren’t supposed to be simple.
Relationships are messy.
Or, as Coldplay simply puts it, “Nobody said it was easy.”
Wait, you’re wondering, how is this a myth? Relationships are hard work. Good relationships aren’t supposed to be easy. My relationship is messy. Before you angrily close the page or write me an irritated comment, hear me out.”

An 81-year marriage is impressive, but it shouldn’t be fetishised “I find the ‘relationships are hard work’ mantra questionable at best, and harmful at worst. There are many with vested interests in keeping people, particularly women, in unhealthy relationships to preserve social order. Relationships shouldn’t be hard work. Relationships survive because of luck and happy willing effort. I have seen people work their guts out and grow apart, and others cruise along, happily growing around each other like trellised roses.”

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