Tag: conflict free relating

Why You Have to Believe in a Conflict-Free Relationship to Have One

“I know you two have an amazingly peaceful relationship, but what about me?”
“I read Secrets of a Successful Relationship Revealed and it’s all very well for you two to be so happy, but how do we do it?”
“I can’t imagine having a relationship like you describe.”
These and many similar questions came our way after our first book was released.
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Knowing Yourself Helps You Have a Successful Relationship

Maude is away this weekend being Nana (and loving it!), so I’m flying solo in this week’s blog. Time and time again we describe our relationship as peaceful and free of conflict and hear “That’s nice for you, but…,” so I’d like to address that here.
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Peace – If Not Conflict, Then What?

The popularly held belief concerning relationships is that all of them have conflict, and that it is how you handle the conflict that is important. In fact it is put forth that if people claim not to have conflict in their relationship, they are suppressing or ignoring reality.
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Do Relationships Have to Have Conflict? Absolutely Not!

Many people write about conflict in relationships: how it’s bound to happen, how it’s better than letting things stew, how to fight fairly, how you must counterbalance it with good aspects of the relationship.
But here’s the thing: we don’t experience this at all.
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How to Have a Relationship Without Anger and Arguments

It was a year after meeting that we noticed we hadn’t had any arguments, and 10 years on from that, it’s still true.
Let us clarify our terms here. We have disagreements – things where we have different points of view – but they never, ever, turn into arguments.
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Why Are Core Values Important in Successful Relationships?

One requirement for a successful relationship is that your core values match. What do we mean by core values? Well, they are what you value – duh – and you’re gonna have to name them for yourself. Not everybody holds the same values, because if they did, the issue of needing a match wouldn’t arise.
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What Is the Difference Between Disagreeing and Arguing?

Couple arguing

When we tell people we never argue, they don’t call us liars to our face, but there is often a strong whiff of incredulity in the air. It’s not that we agree on everything, but these disagreements don’t descend into arguments.
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How to be Separate Individuals with a Successful Relationship

A topic that is basic to having a successful relationship is individuality: seeing your partner as a complete and separate individual, and honoring and celebrating them for that fact.
This one understanding leads to almost all the other elements of relating without conflict.
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How to Bring Joy to Relationship Problem Solving

We were at a wedding and were captivated by two children playing. They were so filled with joy and the obvious pleasure of being together. Joy is such an important element in relationships, too. It’s easy to find it in the good times, but it tends to vanish when problems loom.
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How to Avoid Power Struggles in Your Relationship

I’ve been thinking quite a lot about the discussions we’ve had recently concerning power struggles within a relationship. We’ve been talking about John Gottman’s book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail“. He observed many couples in terms of their conflicts and issues with power.
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