Tag: Individuality and Relationship

Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about the paradox of union and separateness in a relationship. Here are some excellent articles on this subject.
The Central Paradox of Love: Esther Perel on Reconciling the Closeness Needed for Intimacy with the Psychological Distance That Fuels Desire “How to live with those paradoxes, rather than succumbing to the self-defeating urge to treat them as problems to be solved, is what Belgian psychotherapist and writer Esther Perel explores in Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (public library).
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The Paradox of Union and Separateness in a Relationship

Phil: I want to write about how we create these blogs because it illuminates the way we are together.
We usually talk about topics until one appears and feels fruitful, explore it some, then go off and write separately. When we come together again, we may amalgamate our different voices, interleave our different aspects, or take one as the framework and polish it, but whatever way we end up writing, one thing is certain: that we each agree with what the other has written, even though it may be in a different voice.
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How Important Is Individuality in a Successful Relationship?

“I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.” Virginia Satir
What makes a relationship really work?
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How to be Separate Individuals with a Successful Relationship

A topic that is basic to having a successful relationship is individuality: seeing your partner as a complete and separate individual, and honoring and celebrating them for that fact.
This one understanding leads to almost all the other elements of relating without conflict.
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Acceptance is not “Putting Up With”

We talk a lot about acceptance, but people often reject it because they take it to mean “having to put up with“, so I want to examine in more detail how and where it applies.
The acceptability of actions lies on a spectrum, but let’s divide that into three.
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Individuality Within Relationship

One of the keys to our peaceful and joyful way of relating is that we accept and respect each other as two separate absolutely unique individuals. We do not confuse our identities, which is a common occurrence in many relationships. As we practice being in the present with each other, we are more apt to experience what is actually there, rather than something we have created in our minds.
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