To be in a relationship is to exist in a state somewhere between individuality and union; this is so for all relationships, not just personal ones. We are both the relationship and the individual. Ideally, we move smoothly between these …
How to Reconcile Individuality and Union in Your Relationships Read more »
We usually go to breakfast, choose a topic, write separately about it and then merge our writings, but sometimes, even though we are saying the same things, we phrase it so differently that it makes more sense to present them …
How to Balance Individuality and Your Relationship Read more »
This week, Maude has been away each night taking care of the grandchildren, and she recently took one of them up to the Bay area for a week. None of this put a ripple in our relationship. We have a …
How to Blend Connection and Separation in Your Relationship Read more »
MAUDE: Some years ago we were doing an interview with Bill Weil of Conscious Couples Conversations and he asked us if we thought maturity had anything to do with having a peaceful relationship. This past weekend we were at an …
Do You Need to be Mature for a Conflict Free Relationship? Read more »
MAUDE: We write about successful relationships from our own experience and from our talks and interviews with other happy couples. At the same time we feel the practices that we share can be applied to all relationships and that this …
The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus …
How to Be Both Together and Separate in Your Relationship Read more »
In last week’s blog post we discussed the importance of truly recognizing that in any relationship, there is a person other than one’s self present: “We feel that to truly develop a successful intimate relationship, you have to acknowledge and …
Communication and Individuality in a Relationship Read more »
Phil: I want to write about how we create these blogs because it illuminates the way we are together. We usually talk about topics until one appears and feels fruitful, explore it some, then go off and write separately. When …
The Paradox of Union and Separateness in a Relationship Read more »
“I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, …
How Important Is Individuality in a Successful Relationship? Read more »
A topic that is basic to having a successful relationship is individuality: seeing your partner as a complete and separate individual, and honoring and celebrating them for that fact. This one understanding leads to almost all the other elements of …
How to be Separate Individuals with a Successful Relationship Read more »