White Lies are Unhealthy in Your Relationship

white-liesYou read everywhere that white lies are acceptable. It may be so in social circles, but with your partner, it really isn’t the case. Every white lie is a little bit of concealment, a little bit of not showing your true self. When you embark on such a course, you have to monitor your words, and it changes the nature of speaking. It blocks the free flow of speech because everything must be run through a filter and checked for acceptability before being spoken. Worse than that, if your partner becomes aware that you are shading your speech to avoid discomfiting them, everything you say becomes suspect; what you say can no longer be fully trusted.
Why embark on telling why lies in the first place? Maybe you have expectations that you should support your partner, or that they are fragile and need soft words to avoid being damaged. Maybe once, you told the truth about how the jeans fit, and it’s just easier or safer or more peaceful to lie a little in the future.
But really, you are depriving your partner of a very precious thing – the experience that when you speak, you mean what you say.
I grew up in a household of omissions, innuendos and euphemisms, and to know that Maureen speaks the truth is sunshine after a week of clouds.

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