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Why It's Important to Know Your Truth and Share it in Your Relationships

Silhouette of man on beachSpeak your truth. It may not be good advice at work or in a crowded bar, but with personal relationships, it is the path to a deeper connection and a soul-satisfying peace.

Yet, what is speaking one’s truth and how can you do it? This art must be developed through inner work and conscious behavior. To speak your truth you must first know what it is – that it comes from you, not from anyone else, and it represents your feelings and thoughts. It is not absolute, and can change as you look at a situation and your feelings and adjust accordingly. It takes self-reflection and a desire to know yourself so you can share openly. Finding that place resonates deeply and leaves you with a good feeling about yourself.

Maude was recently feeling some tension between herself and a dear friend. Her first thoughts were all about her friend’s behavior, leaving her feeling critical and upset. Not wanting to maintain this feeling about her friend, she started searching within and looking at what she was feeling and why it caused such distress and a feeling of distance from her friend. After some inner reflection, she realized that what she wanted was really something quite simple that she hadn’t communicated at all, and yet she was feeling resentful that she wasn’t getting it from her friend. Once she knew her truth, she was able to communicate that very peacefully, with calm and a complete lack of tension. This led to a lovely interaction and a plan which was even better than what she had been looking for.

This kind of open sharing is grounded in an understanding that what you feel, what your wants and even needs are, comes from you. You have to make it personal, about you, not about other people. When you understand this, you are able to share it in a non-threatening manner, without accusation or blame. This method of delivery is pivotal in creating a loving and uncharged communication and will greatly affect the response. It is important to differentiate between sharing what is meaningful and spewing forth every though in you head.

Another fascinating factor is that when you look to find your truth, you also get to hear it for yourself, often making things clear for the first time. This occurs frequently when using our process to make decisions and find mutual solutions. As you talk, you find a deeper want or need and then a deeper one still, until you find what the underlying fundamental desire is.

The experience of being totally honest may feel strange at first, but when the effort you usually make at keeping some aspects of yourself private are gone, it is very liberating. Once you recognize this place, it becomes easier and easier to return to it. We always marvel at how relieving and relaxing it is to know that what we say to each other is what we mean. There is no hidden agenda and no build up of unexpressed feelings.

The more you can listen to what your inner truth is, and the more you share that in your relationships, the more you will find a deepening and enrichment of those interactions and the more harmony you will experience. You’ll have more fun, too. Ain’t that the truth.

Photo credit: Maude Mayes
Photo note: Phil contemplating his truth

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Successful Relationship Reading Corner


Books on shelfThis week, we wrote about why it's important to know your truth and share it in your relationships. It's an essential part of good relationships, and here is some good advice on ways to do this.

The Power of Speaking Our Truth in Intimate Relationships "People say that truth is subjective. It is. People say that the truth will set you free. And it does. People say many thing about the truth but not many really speak theirs. Sadly, this is a huge missed opportunity for radical and authentic self-expression. But what’s worse is that not speaking our truth stands in the way of having deep and meaningful relationships. We don’t realise that by not sharing our truth, we deprive ourselves of what we most value: love."

Building Intimacy: How to Speak your Truth in Relationship "From my own past personal experience and my work with clients, I see communication as one of the biggest areas for improvement in intimacy. When needs and feelings go unspoken, especially over long periods of time, fertile ground is created for misunderstanding and feelings of hurt between the two precious people in a relationship."

Speaking Your Truth to Live a Life of Authenticity "Do you find it easier to talk about speaking your truth than actually doing it? Speaking up and speaking your truth is an essential aspect of living a life of passion, fulfillment, and authenticity. However, we struggle to find ways to speak our truth for many of us, myself included. Not too long ago, I was talking to a friend who told me a poignant and powerful story about speaking his truth."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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