"But it’s necessary to distinguish between important differences and unimportant differences. If you pick your partner for their superficial similarities, yet you disagree over deeper values – religion, family, finances, whatever it is for you –
there is no stability there. It is like living in a haunted house -- it may be peaceful for weeks at a time, but the demons will appear.
"Whereas if you agree on basics, then those superficial differences are no threat at all; instead, they offer variety and novelty, not risk and danger. Differences between partners in a relationship are inevitable, but conflict is not. Once you have made sure that your core values match with your partner’s,
by listening to their words and experiencing their actions, then you can truly relax into one of the most wonderful aspects of a relationship."
