How to Maintain Presence in the Face of Adversity

We thought we would share our individual writings this time instead of merging them.
MAUDE: This week it has felt like we are in the middle of hell! Fires are raging all around us (We are in Southern California.) Friends and family are losing homes, being displaced and living in danger.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about how to solve differences from a place of mutuality. Here are a number of articles on listening and being heard.
Listen Up: Why You Don’t Feel Heard in Your Relationship “Solid, healthy communication is essential in any relationship because it’s the pathway to intimacy.
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How to Solve Differences From a Place of Mutuality

This morning we were at our local breakfast nook working on blog topics. We each shared ideas about a possible topic, and some tensions arose unexpectedly. Maude wanted to continue last week’s theme of peace, and Phil wanted a different topic for variety.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about the actual experience of peace in relationships. Here are two articles and a video that shed light on this topic.
What Does Peace Mean? Peace means different things to different people and cultures. Columbian College faculty members from a cross section of disciplines were asked to define what peace means to them.
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The Power that Peace Brings to Your Relationship

We often write about the absence of conflict in our relationship. Recently we’ve been discussing with a few of our readers whether it’s true that we never have arguments, or whether a few slip in. They can’t imagine a relationship that doesn’t have any.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we asked how commitment and presence affect your relationship. Here are two articles and a poem that we liked.
38 Ways To Really Show Up In Your Relationship “Do you show up in your relationships? Are you really, truly there for your partner, with full presence and commitment?
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How Do Commitment and Presence Affect Your Relationship?

When we sit down to write our blogs, we have two main principles we keep in mind. First is that we want to share our personal experience on how we live peacefully in our relationship. Second, is to convey how the reader can apply this information to their relationship.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we suggested that you reframe your feelings and change your relationship. These articles cover the research, some excellent techniques, and a clear discussion of boundaries.
You’re Excited, Not Nervous. You Just Keep Telling Yourself That. “When you are nervous, people like to tell you to calm down, despite the fact that telling someone to calm down rarely, if ever, results in anyone actually calming down.
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Reframe Your Feelings and Change Your Relationship

A professor noticed that anxiety and excitement have several physiological markers in common, so she recruited people to sing karaoke, and quelled their anxiety by having them say “I am excited.” This did not change the anxiety, but it did change how the people were able to act.
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Successful Relationships Reading Corner

In this week’s blog, we wrote about the paradox of union and separateness in a relationship. Here are some excellent articles on this subject.
The Central Paradox of Love: Esther Perel on Reconciling the Closeness Needed for Intimacy with the Psychological Distance That Fuels Desire “How to live with those paradoxes, rather than succumbing to the self-defeating urge to treat them as problems to be solved, is what Belgian psychotherapist and writer Esther Perel explores in Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (public library).
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