We believe that relationships, deep ones, with family, friends and romantic partners are the arena for the realization of peace. In learning that it is possible to live this way with those we are close to, we become ever more capable of treating the greater group in the same way
Author: Phil and Maude
Relationships, all relationships, only thrive when you take the time to keep them alive, vital and present. Often, long term relationships with romantic partners, family or friends, get taken for granted, become background to the challenges and daily occurrences we all deal with in life.
You don’t need to feel tension around differences when you are on the same side and both want the best possible outcome. Even when handling bigger issues, know you can find a way to handle things that will make both of you feel right about it.
We do well with deep listening and lack of interruptions when consciously working to solve something. And yet in day to day conversations we encounter a different behavior. Not only do we burst into each other’s talking, but we each point out the other is doing it and feel irritated.
How do you develop trust in a relationship? Regardless of how another behaves, there is always an important option open to each of us, and that is to be trustworthy. We can bring the behavior of how it is when someone can be trusted into each and every relationship.
Compromise is often touted as an important part of a good relationship, but it is never necessary. You can find a solution or make a decision without either person giving anything up, and this applies in many, many relationships, not just couples.
In society, we hide our true selves. We put on our public face; we don’t say how rude that was or where to shove that job. Maybe these social graces are necessary for society to work, or maybe they are just the social norm, but we mostly follow them so we fit in. We were taught this from childhood on, and now it’s second nature. But in a relationship, this doesn’t serve you well. To the extent that you keep a part of yourself private, you reduce trust and intimacy.
“Stay in touch!” is a common saying that means more than we realize. There are a number of things that support and strengthen our feeling of connection; physical contact – touch – is an important one. It is very powerful, and its power derives from the sensing, feeling, non-verbal level.
Your pleasure is my pleasure, and my pleasure is my own. These two coexist. This helps create our peaceful relationship. It means there is no need to compromise in the sense of giving something up.
When you have an initial negative reaction to other people, move closer to an attitude of embracing them as a first response. This is the way of acceptance, non-judgment and the joyful appreciation of what others have to say and how they express it.