PHIL: You talked at lunch about two friends who spend much of their day in each other’s company doing activities together, and I said that is not us; we have a different balance, though I suspect it’s not totally equal, …
MAUDE: I was reading our post from last week, and came across this statement, which I find very in sync with what Phil and I were discussing last night as we formulated the topic for this post: “I think we …
Why Peaceful Relationships Start With This One Radical Choice Read more →
Here’s a conversation we had that illustrates how you can connect without a negative charge on a topic that could be loaded. PHIL: I think this might be the perfect time to talk about something that happened a few days …
How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge Read more →
You know the feeling of being at odds with another person? Don’t go there in the first place, and if you’re in there, get out. Don’t just look at what the other person is doing; look at what you are doing, too. Focus on finding a resolution that works for both of you.
It is a common belief that conflicts are inevitable even in the most loving of relationships, but when the underlying needs are examined, it is nearly always possible to find a mutual solution.
A close relationship is fundamentally different from others as it is built upon openness and honesty, both in sharing and accepting. This creates trust, which allows you to be more open, which creates more trust, and so on. When you are not actively creating conflict, you can actively create peace.
For an enrichment of your relationships and a more joyous way of being together, ask yourself, “What stops me from embracing differences?” “Why am I rejecting or trying to modify what seems different?” and “What will it take for me to move into trust and acceptance?”
This week was our wedding anniversary and it brought us to reflect on what we have learned about the potentials of all relationships from the experience of ours. Here are our musings on just that for our blog this week.
Understanding core values and learning what yours are is foundational to creating peaceful harmonious relationships. We differentiate values from wants and needs on a spectrum of ever-increasing importance. This scale starts with wants which are the most ephemeral, moves through needs, and then to values which rarely change.
We are completely undefended with each other because we both know that neither of us is ever going to attack the other. We are not in competition. There is never any energy emanating from a desire for power or dominance.