Plenty of relationship advice says that conflict in a relationship is inevitable and healthy. We disagree on both counts. It may just be a matter of semantics. If it amounts to a statement that people shouldn’t suppress their feelings, we …
How to Understand that Disagreement Need Not be Conflict Read more →
The common wisdom about relationships is that there will be times of conflict. You will find writer after writer advising you to handle this by talking, being kind, communicating, compromising, making lists, having date nights and accepting the inevitable. But …
The direct experience of mutuality is a critical aspect of a peaceful and conflict-free relationship. It is the sense of being in the relationship, rather than just being our individual selves. In fact, “rather than” is the wrong connector here; …
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Last week we gave a workshop on transforming your relationship. Our work involves creating and re-framing relationships as peaceful conflict-free ones. In order to do that a change in perception is critical – a change in how you see relationships. …
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MAUDE: Last week we wrote about how important it is to check in regularly with each other. On one of our recent check-ins, I shared with Phil that I was becoming deeply distressed about an area of importance to me …
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PHIL: Some writings have seared themselves into my brain. One was Games People Play. It was the first time I had met the idea of unconscious motivations, and also of being direct with people. Another was Be Here Now, the …
Relationship Differences Can Be Valuable and Important Read more →
We all desire peaceful loving relationships. Last night affirmed that for us again! We had the pleasure of doing a joint reading and book signing at our wonderful local bookstore, Chaucer’s. This was another opportunity to experience directly how much …
We write on many aspects of relationships, hoping to offer you new ways that you can put into practice in your relationship. These different ideas all tie together in our underlying principles. Our first book contained one statement illustrated in …
What Lies at the Core of Successful Relationships Read more →
Maude offered to watch the grand-kids for a week, taking her away from the house except for school hours. The day before she was leaving, we were edgy with each other. Don’t ask what it was about. I think it …
Truth Will Transform the Arguments in Your Relationship Read more →
We were both touched by a letter we received describing a marriage where the writer is criticized over many small things by their spouse. They weren’t seeking advice, just sharing, but it reminded us of a couple we have recently …