A central part of experiencing harmony and peace in relationships is understanding core values, knowing what yours are, and seeing that there are matches within your intimate relationships. It is also important to understand the connection between wants, needs and …
Why it is Important to Realize the Difference Between Wants, Needs and Values Read more »
PHIL: The tensions in a relationship can arise from different wants, needs or values. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a good starting point for thinking about needs. At the lowest level, there is no compromise: food, air and water are …
Why Looking at Wants, Needs and Values is so Important for Your Relationship Read more »
PHIL: Nearly every night Maude and I retire early, do the New York Times crossword, read out loud, watch Netflix and generally hang out together. We’ve come to call this time our Sacred Space – a time we spend away …
Why You Should Take the Time and Attention to Honor Your Relationships Read more »
Critical to having a peaceful conflict-free relationship is an attitude we refer to as total acceptance. Understanding that the other person is a full and separate individual, with different ways of expressing themselves and unique preferences, is a necessary foundation …
The common wisdom about relationships is that there will be times of conflict. You will find writer after writer advising you to handle this by talking, being kind, communicating, compromising, making lists, having date nights and accepting the inevitable. But …
Last week we gave a workshop on transforming your relationship. Our work involves creating and re-framing relationships as peaceful conflict-free ones. In order to do that a change in perception is critical – a change in how you see relationships. …
How to Transform Your Relationship and Make it Conflict-free Read more »
We’ve been unable to write a new blog this week as we were busy finalizing yesterday’s workshop, so we’re reposting a popular blog from past years. We’ve written a number of blogs on core values and how important it is …
To Commit or Not to Commit; That Is the Question Read more »
We’ve always held that one of the reasons our relationship works so well is that we respect the individuality of the other person. A core value and bedrock of our relationship is the commitment we share to supporting the growth …
Support the Growth of the Other Person in Your Relationship Read more »
We don’t argue. We don’t compromise. We don’t suppress our feelings. And we always find a solution to issues that works for both of us. Unlikely as that may sound, it’s been true for the dozen years we’ve known each …
How to Reach Mutual Solutions in Your Relationship Read more »
On the first anniversary of our meeting, we made an astounding discovery. We realized that we had never had an argument, had never fought, not even a little. It has now been twelve years we’ve been together (ten since we …
No Matter What You Think, Not All Couples Fight! Read more »