Understanding the quality of uniqueness holds a key for peaceful relating. There is only one of each person. That means that each of you has contributions and insights and ways of being to offer that can only come from you, and the same for each other person.

For the last few weeks, we have been writing about subtle aspects of peaceful relationships. It is now time to describe the five principles for creating peaceful relationships, of which these subtle aspects are a part. These are: Knowing and …

The Five Fundamentals of Peaceful Relationships Read more »

PHIL: When I grasp an idea, it can be like an epiphany. Several of my psychological understandings were like that. The first was reading “I’m OK, You’re OK” as a teenager. It was the first time I learned that we …

How Individuality and a Sense of “We” Can Coexist in a Relationship Read more »

MAUDE: Today while reflecting on what contributes to our peaceful harmonious way of being together, we zeroed in on the way we move through our lives separately within our connectedness. We are well matched in our desire for independent action, …

How Does Trust Grow and Support Non-Interference in Your Relationship? Read more »

Whether you are struggling in a partnership, a familial relationship or a close friendship, the challenge remains the same: how do you care for your individual needs and desires and still manifest cooperation? Our answer to this is always the …

How Does Knowing Yourself Help You Find Mutual Solutions In Relationships? Read more »

Last week we celebrated our wedding anniversary by going up to Scotts Valley and visiting the Redwoods. We stayed in a great AirBnB set apart on a lovely big property in the woods and had a wonderful four days. On …

Why You Benefit From Both Separation and Connection in Your Relationships Read more »

What do I want to tell you about relationships? I could rework what other people have written, whether the five love languages or the parent-adult-child model of transactional analysis, but what I truly know is at the level of learned …

Total Acceptance From the Heart is How You Create Peace in Your Relationship Read more »

Our culture is oriented around the individual. People (including us!) write about how to find yourself. Herbert Hoover famously used the phrase “rugged individualism.” Countless articles advise how to improve ourselves, whether at the gym, the makeup counter, or our …

Why is it Important not to Focus on Yourself in Relationships? Read more »

PHIL: We continually ask ourselves how we live so peacefully. We know that we do; the challenge is to turn that knowledge into reasons and words. One of the most fundamental aspects is the sense that we are each completely …

Why is it Important not to Focus on Relationship Differences? Read more »