A reader emailed us about last week’s blog: “It sounds simple but not easy. I certainly haven’t mastered it yet!” We maintain harmony in our relationship the same way a bike stays in balance when being ridden. It happens with …

Why Those Little Differences Needn’t Be a Problem in Your Relationship Read more »

PHIL: The obvious way that you compare things is by looking at how they differ. Which oven is self-cleaning? Does this bank charge overdraft fees? Less obvious is to look at the similarities, because they don’t help you make choices …

How Can You See Differences in Your Relationships as Welcome Additions? Read more »

PHIL: We have plenty in common, but also plenty of differences. How we connect socially. What we read. What our diets are. Our differences don’t cause us problems, but for many people, they are a perennial battlefield. Maggie Scarf proposed …

How To See Your Differences As Assets Rather Than Causing Arguments Read more »

PHIL: We continually ask ourselves how we live so peacefully. We know that we do; the challenge is to turn that knowledge into reasons and words. One of the most fundamental aspects is the sense that we are each completely …

Why is it Important not to Focus on Relationship Differences? Read more »

For the last three weeks, we’ve been writing about mutuality, union and core values, three foundational aspects of conflict-free peaceful relationships. Know Yourself While these are the critical underpinnings of the type of relationships we describe, there are characteristics that …

What Important Factors Make a Conflict-free Relationship? Read more »

Life has been particularly full and interesting lately. We’ve been working (and playing) to create and shape the workshop that we are offering in a few weeks. As is often the case when we create something together, we are also …

How to Make the Differences in your Relationship be Assets Read more »

PHIL: Some writings have seared themselves into my brain. One was Games People Play. It was the first time I had met the idea of unconscious motivations, and also of being direct with people. Another was Be Here Now, the …

Relationship Differences Can Be Valuable and Important Read more »