Balance is not about equality, it is about being in harmony with another, about recognizing that you are partners working together, not competitors. This is the source of balance in your relationships.
Doing is not the opposite of being; doing is activity, and it is when activity ceases that being comes into focus. We need a balance of the two. The problem comes when doing becomes so habitual that we never stop.
Fill your life with many forms of play mixed into the fabric of your relationships. The more you balance work and play, effort and ease, being and doing, the happier and the more effective you and your relationships will be.
PHIL: We’ve been talking about how important fairness is in relationships. It is about treating the other person as an equal, even though they are at the same time, different from you. (Here, I am reminded of the Declaration of …
Why Fairness and Trust are So Important to Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: Is your relationship a town with unsafe streets, no-go areas and places you might stumble and get hurt? We don’t live there. We simply don’t clash on things. It is totally improbable that we make the same choices time …
Why is Balance Important for Peaceful Relationships? Read more »
A reader emailed us about last week’s blog: “It sounds simple but not easy. I certainly haven’t mastered it yet!” We maintain harmony in our relationship the same way a bike stays in balance when being ridden. It happens with …
Why Those Little Differences Needn’t Be a Problem in Your Relationship Read more »
Maude has been ill this week (though she is recovering well), so I’m taking the opportunity to go all existential on you. Last week, we wrote about Oprah Winfrey concluding that everybody wants to be seen, heard, and know that …
Balance Being As Well As Doing For Peace In Your Relationships Read more »
PHIL: We live in two worlds. One is our life together. Each evening we retire early to watch Netflix, do the New York Times crossword, play word games and chill. We call this our sacred space. Each week we write …
How to Honor Both Closeness and Space in Your Relationship Read more »
PHIL: I want to talk this week about how we perceive the world. That might sound as if it has nothing to do with relationships, but they are an important part of our lives, and I’ll come to them later. …
How to Integrate Thoughts and Feelings in Your Life Read more »
This week Phil had a medical procedure. He needed a Covid-19 test early in the week, so we had to quarantine. It was so hot that we took our walks very early in the morning when few people were on …
Avoid Making Lists and Keeping Score in Your Relationships Read more »