You think one thing. Your partner thinks another. It might be whether to replace the car or what color to paint the kitchen. How do you reach a decision? If both of you hold fast to your original position, you
can’t. At least one of you has to change your position.
There are various ways this can happen.
* One person is always adamant, and the other accedes. Not a good idea for a balanced relationship.
* You compromise. Maybe you take it in turn, maybe there’s a balance sheet scored by the scale of the concessions. This may work for many couples, but we don’t think this is a good idea. You may have
different views on the value of the concession, but worse than that is the act of the concession itself. Someone always loses. It may rankle for a long time – until the kitchen is repainted or the car is resold.
* You can both be flexible.
Guess what – we pick the third choice! Let’s examine what it involves.
Holding on to your original
position is, when you think about it, an incredible act of hubris. Is this really the best position in the whole world? Have you examined every other one and found it wanting? Are you sure there isn’t another possibility you might have overlooked? Is there a teeny chance your ego doesn’t like admitting it’s wrong?
So let go of the need to be right. It only gets in the way. This is a skill that can be
learned. So what's the trick?
