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Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one’s integrity, one’s individuality…. In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two. Erich Fromm

In our interviews with couples, we have found that there is a really tricky area that partners must learn to navigate together. The fact that there are two separate personalities within one relationship seems obvious, but putting this understanding into practice is often more complex than it would seem.

As you grow closer in your union, the sense of joining together pervades the relationship. It is a beautiful, transcendent and intimate experience. You are sharing the magic of two who become one. This can expand your world view in many ways. And unfortunately it can also lead to confusions and bumps in the smooth path of your partnership.

Click here to read about the bumps and how to smooth them out.


More From Kit and Kat Relationship Experts
For those of you just becoming familiar with our Kit and Kat videos, here's another one from the series where Joseph asks for relationship advice. Check out our Youtube channel for more in this series, and if you subscribe to the channel, you'll get notifications of new videos when they're released.
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  Kit and Kat on Not Taking Your Partner for Granted
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Blog Report
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We think you'll enjoy our latest guest post on Dumb Little Man: 5 Ways to Get What You Want in Your Relationship.

How do you get what you want in a relationship? How do you stay happy?
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With a lot of people struggling with so many issues in their relationships, it’s easy to think that conflicts are inevitable.

In reality, however, that’s not always the case. Although it’s normal for partners to experience problems, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be avoided. Here are some of the things you can do to get the most out of your relationship. Read more.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner
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This week's blog is on the paradox of intimacy and separateness in a relationship. Here are some interesting writings on this topic.

The Paradox of Intimacy in a Healthy Marriage "To many of us, the struggle for intimacy may seem just as paradoxical. Most of us want to be intimate, to feel emotionally connected with another. At the same time, we want to be independent and self-sufficient. This conflict and tension is at the core of what it means to be human."

How to balance intimacy and autonomy in your relationship "A common relationship difficulty for couples is managing the balance between their need for connection versus their need for autonomy. Partners want to be both attached to their mate as well as detached for self-identity. How well partners succeed in honoring each other’s needs for togetherness vs. separateness greatly impacts their individual and relationship satisfaction."

Closeness and Separateness "There are two basic human needs that feature in intimate relationships: the need for belonging and connectedness and the need for individual freedom and separateness. Sometimes we seem to have to sacrifice one for the sake of the other. Yet in a relationship that thrives both needs can be fulfilled."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time,
Phil and Maude
 
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