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Both of us have lived in intentional communities and one of the rules in both of them (in different countries and languages) was that each member would have to have their own room. Even back then, we were aware of the need for personal space, especially when living with others.

Since those days, our understanding of what this means and what its importance is to a successful relationship has greatly expanded. We all need personal space to grow and develop and to be able to let others into our internal world without feeling a loss of individuality or the need to protect it.

Book Report
Limited Time Offer -- Expires Oct 10th

We mentioned this last week, but here's a reminder. We are now offering our first book "How to Have a Successful Relationship" as a free ebook when people sign up for this newsletter. As y'all have already signed up, we'd like to offer you a free copy directly. For a limited time, use the discount code freesecrets to get the free ebook. Get all three formats while you're about it!

"This book is a useful exploration and dialog on the possibility of conflict-free relating. My partner of 20 years and I read it aloud to each other. We used the concepts as a springboard for deep discussions about our own relationship style, and found that they helped us to improve our communication skills and enhance the quality of our love and respect for each other’s individuality". — Jenny and Richard Niles

Here's another video we did for the first book. (once you're there, subscribe to our channel!)

 
Successful Relationship Reading Corner
In this week's blog we wrote about the importance of personal space in a relationship. Here are several articles with personal stories about that.

Forget sex, the secret to a long-lasting relationship is space "When our daughter was six months old and we were struggling with the pressures of being new parents, my partner Stephen asked me if he could join a mountaineering expedition to Pakistan."

Suffocating in a Relationship? "Space issues plague just about every couple at one time or another. For many, it's an ongoing source of contention. The most common sticking points are how much time to spend together, and how much physical affection feels right to each partner. But regardless of the details of the dispute, the same question is at the core of most of these conflicts: Where does the "us" end and the "I" begin? Experts agree that couples need to find a balance between togetherness and individuality."

Why Space in a Relationship Is NOT a Bad Thing "When I was younger, I was guilty of smothering my boyfriends. I would jump into a relationship and leave me behind in the process. I would engage in their interests and activities, and forget to pursue my own path in life. I was always unhappy during these relationships. Now I know that when you are not being true to yourself and following your life purpose, you can’t feel anything but unhappy!"

Spreading peace one relationship at a time,
Phil and Maude
 
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