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Spreading Peace One Relationship at a Time
We’re often asked how we write our blogs together. We create two separate drafts and then merge them. If they’re complementary, we interleave them; if they’re saying the same thing, we blend them. But sometimes they’re both so distinct that we offer both voices. That’s what we did this week.

PHIL: You can’t talk and listen at the same time. It seems obvious, but a lot follows from that. Firstly, if you’re in a dialog, you have to stop talking sometimes. Not only that, you have to stop preparing to talk, i.e. thinking about what you’re going to say next, because then you’re giving little or no attention to what the other person is saying.


MAUDE: What does it mean to actually listen and hear and how do we do it? One of the first requirements is the desire and the intent to do so. We have to want to hear and understand the person communicating with us. For this to be happen, we have to be able to put aside our preoccupation with ourselves long enough for someone else’s presence to occupy us.


Book Report
We are excited – the proof of the print copy is here and we are getting close to our release date for both print and the ebook. We will be announcing ebook pre-order and print book launch dates soon. We hope to use pre-orders to get a big sales boost at release - this helps the book rise on Amazon's lists.

Many of you have expressed interest in purchasing books. Help us spread our message – think of friends and acquaintances who would like a copy of this book. We are grateful for your support. More news...very soon!

Successful Relationship Reading Corner
In this week's blog article we wrote about how you can't talk and listen at the same time. Other writers offer their suggestions for active listening.

Practicing Active Listening Can Improve Your Relationship "Often partners are convinced that they are excellent listeners. However, when asked, many partners are unable to give an adequate summary of what their partner was saying. Partners aren’t always conscious of their tendency to plan what they are going to say next."


Attention Couples: Becoming a Skilled Listener and Effective Speaker "listening isn’t an innate ability all people possess; it’s a skill we need to cultivate. And it’s a critical one for couples, because the foundation of successful communication is being able to truly listen to each other, without 'constructing a counter argument in your head'"


Listening--With Your Heart as Well as Your Ears "How often have you heard these statements? 'You're not listening to me!'... 'Why don't you let me finish what I'm saying?'... 'If you only let me, I'll tell you!'... 'I may as well be talking to a brick wall!... 'You just don't understand!'... 'But that's not what I said!' If you hear any of these comments coming from your partner, children, friends, or co-workers, perhaps it's true that 'you're not listening'--really listening to the people who are important in your life."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time,
Phil and Maude
 
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