Spreading Peace One Relationship at a Time When we tell people we never argue, they don’t call us liars to our face, but there is often a strong whiff of incredulity in the air. It’s not that we agree on everything, but these disagreements don’t descend into arguments. For us, disagreement just means that we don’t agree, whereas an argument involves negative emotions,
accusations, defensiveness, blame, anger, tears, estrangement, recrimination, threats, ultimatums, etc. Surely we’ve all had arguments in our lives. Click here to read this entire article. We were recently interviewed by Gabriel Sanford for Courtship Academy on conflict-free relating, who writes:
"Interview with Phil and Maude who are committed to the understanding that conflict is not inevitable, and that relationships can be the inspiration for peace on earth. Co-authors of “Secrets of a Successful Relationship Revealed” and currently working on a second book, “How Two: Have A Successful Relationship”. Visit them at http://philandmaude.com" In this week's blog article we wrote about the difference between disagreeing and arguing. Ours is an unorthodox viewpoint, so we were pleased to find some very good articles on this topic.
Beware Of Mistaken Marriage Advice That "All Couples Fight" "Cavemen and cavewomen probably survived by being stronger than others, more aggressive, and quicker at defending themselves in the face of stressful
potential conflicts. The modern world survives, by contrast, primarily on abilities to cooperate. Stressful situations that are becoming adversarial between loving partners can escalate into ever more stressful arguments. Alternatively, they can be handled with calm, productive, collaborative talking together that dissipates stress and yields creation of mutually comfortable solutions."
ARGUMENT OR DISAGREEMENT? "What is important to remember is not to avoid all disagreements but to remember to respect the other person’s point of view. If you are too busy trying to get your way, you can easily forget what is important. "
The Difference Between a Disagreement and a Fight "Just going along with your spouse and forgetting your own wants or needs does not result in a better outcome, unless the disagreement is so minor you will not remember it tomorrow.... If you pursue a Third Alternative, an option
each of you finds at least as pleasing as the one your mate turned down, you get two huge benefits." Spreading peace one relationship at a time, Phil and Maude If you are interested in newsletters you've missed, see our archive. |
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