Home Archive Prev Next

You find the car has a flat tire just as you’re about to leave for a doctor’s appointment. You’re house-sitting, you take the trash out and the door slams behind you, locking you out. You are the honoree at an awards ceremony. You pull out your tuxedo and find that your only dress shirt has a wine stain on it

We’ve all had that sinking feeling when a metaphorical landslide blocks the route we planned to take. Cursing your fate doesn’t help. “If only” doesn’t help. There’s only one way forward: accept the new situation, plot a new route, make a plan, and act on it. You’ll have to do this eventually; caterwauling just defers the action. Accepting the current situation is part of being present. It is recognizing the current reality and responding to it.

But that’s just the practical aspect. What about your emotional response?

Audio News
Lynelle Paulick has a radio show on the local UCSB station on Tuesdays at noon and is hoping to be picked up by KCSB, with its wider So.Cal. coverage. We were on the show last Tuesday and spent a wonderful two hours talking with Lynelle. Here’s a brief excerpt from that interview.

We were late adding the audio to last week's blog "Why You Should Celebrate the Differences in Your Relationship", but it's up now and you can listen to it here.

If you want to catch up on previous podcasts of our blogs, you can find them on iTunes or Stitcher.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner
In this week's blog we wrote about how to stay present in a crisis and in your relationship. These posts offer some ideas about this.

5 Steps for Being Present "So, how do we stay present? The first thing to recognize is that, try as we might, we really can only do one thing at a time, so we ought to do that thing wholeheartedly. Most of our time is spent in the past or the future, rather than the present moment. What we end up doing is passing through that moment on the way to somewhere else and, in doing so, we miss the moment. That's how life ends up passing us by - we do it to ourselves."

6 Simple Ways To Be More Present In Your Relationships "Life can pass by at a dizzying pace. If we aren't conscious of being present, we can miss a lot in the moment. Mindfulness dictates we do the opposite. By being present, we see opportunity. Mindfulness also allows us to enjoy sacred moments with our loved ones, and results in less stress and more rejuvenation."

How to Foster Better Relationships Just by Being Present "Getting present requires a certain level of self-awareness. It is about putting aside your own thoughts, worries, fears, and insecurities and genuinely taking an interest in what that person is saying. When you press pause—physically and mentally—and hold a space for a person to express themselves fully, that person feels valued, heard, seen, and loved. And that’s all any of us ever really want. So how can we bring more presence to our relationships?"

Spreading peace one relationship at a time,
Phil and Maude
Read our blogs at PhilAndMaude.
Like us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram
If you are interested in newsletters you've missed, see our archive.
Do you know anyone who would enjoy this newsletter? Tell them to sign up at http://philandmaude.com/howtwo/.