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How to Avoid Disturbances in Your Relationship Field

PHIL: So after several weeks of coughing and night sweats in the spare bedroom, we’re finally sleeping together all night again. It feels like a major step back to normality. But in another way, nothing has changed. There is no reconnection because there was never any disconnection. As Maude put it, there was no disturbance in the field.

This is because of our complete commitment to each other. Because of that, we can explore our different needs and desires and come to agreement without struggle and conflict. It gives each of us total trust in the other, and with that, we can let go of any need to control the other.

Maude wrote her side of this, too. Click here to read what we both wrote and what you can do, or click here for Phil to read it to you.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


We wrote in this week's blog about how to avoid disturbances in your relationship field. Here are some great articles about the role of commitment in your relationship.

Commitment in healthy relationships "Commitment to the relationship is related to the quality of the relationship. It makes sense that people who commit themselves to a relationship are more likely to find rewards than those who invest sporadically or half-heartedly. This article reviews the various dimensions of commitment in intimate relationships, including commitment as an attraction, commitment as moral obligation, and commitment as constraint. Because commitment has multiple dimensions, it functions differently in different relationships. Strategies for cultivating commitment are presented."

Commitment: The Path to Relationship Happiness "I recently realized that in more than 30 years as a counselor, therapist, and coach, I have never been able to help anyone who wasn’t committed to what they wanted. Having a strong rescuer/hero complex, for many years I tried for a 100% success rate helping couples save their marriages, individuals find happiness, business owners achieve success, and so on, taking personal responsibility for the outcome. Whenever the desired results didn’t happen, I blamed my skills and methods and sought more training and techniques, and never achieved more than a 50% success rate. I felt relieved when I discovered that other helping professionals did no better. Thinking of all the people I tried to help, the biggest difference between those that succeeded and those that didn’t, appeared to be- Commitment."

Staying Together – How to Create a Healthy Committed Relationship "When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it  really takes more to make it through the long haul. It takes community and family support (which isn’t as available as it once was in our society) – and it takes skill. Many of us have failed to learn how to negotiate our way through relationship difficulties to build a lasting connection."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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