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Why Making Time For Sacred Space In Your Relationship Is So Important

Path to gazeboPHIL: Everybody we know seems to be venturing out again. We’re on our second trip since being fully vaccinated, and on the drive we talked about the importance of getaways and why this is so. One reason is the stimulation of different scenery, cities, food and people. But at least equal to those for us is what we call sacred space, the experience of being fully in each others’ presence.

This is the name we give to the time each evening when we retire and hang out together. It, more than anything else, maintains the sense of connection we have. But on a trip, this sense is tenfold. We have made space in the calendar. We have arranged for the mail to be taken in and the trash to be set out. We can be open to the drive, the country, and share our deeper feelings, our cares and fears about the world.

One of the mystical aspects of our relationship is the sense of being connected and independent at the same time. We have explored this extensively and know that it comes from the full acceptance of each other, yet it still has a feeling of mystery about it, and a trip away only seems to bring it more into focus. This sense of mystery is why we find the word “sacred” so appropriate. It puts us in touch with the unspeakable.

MAUDE: We have spent the greater part of this week on a trip up to Cambria. Aside from celebrating the freedom to travel a bit, we are here celebrating the Sacred Space within our relationship. It is both joyful and renewing to move into the awe inherent in the recognition of its presence.

This sweet nougat of grace is there always between us. And on this journey we have undertaken to swim within it with consciousness.

As we were talking about this very center of our relationship, of all deep relationships, we looked up the meaning of sacred. Some of my favorite definitions are: blessed, something treated with great respect, consecrated, revered, spiritual, numinous.

The sense of being present with each other is as strong as ever. The palpable awareness of our connection is emphasized through stepping out of our daily routines and surroundings, opening up to an unknown adventure and the quiet peace of just being together.

This ability to really be present with each other is one of the gifts of a peaceful harmonious relationship. When you are aware that you are on the same side, when you know that you are never going to be attacked or threatened by your partner, you live in a state of relaxation that doesn’t mask or cloud the present with projections and fears.

On this trip we are here to both celebrate this ability to be freely present, and to honor the mystery at the center of our union; to both acknowledge and revel in the sacred between us.

Take the time and dive into that part of your relationship. It is important to nurture this aspect of your relationship with yourself as well. However you do it, remember to honor that part that surpasses understanding. It is the glue that brings you together and fortifies you through the many challenges we all face in growing. It is the door to peace.

Photo credit: Maude Mayes

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Successful Relationship Reading Corner

Books on shelfOur blog this week was about ensuring that your relationship embraces sacred space, a time when the two of you are fully connected. Here are some other writings exploring aspects of this.

Sacred Space "At some point, we will all experience the ups and downs of being human. Feeling lost, being in love, confusion, wanting more, healing. Creating sacred space is one valuable tool that can support our everyday work of building lives of purpose and meaning. Sacred space provides an opportunity for us to explore the kind of person we want to be, what we believe, and why."

Safe Space, Sacred Space — How to Stay Together "Sacred space is that sacrosanct condition where two people come together in innocence and openness in the name of love. Anything can happen in this space. Anything can be said in this space. Anything can be forgiven in this space. And, everything can be held in this space. It is this safe, sacred space that allows our hearts to bond, unite, and become one."

Me, You, Us - Entering the Sacred Space of Co-creation "Intimacy is the coming together of two separate selves in a joint-effort creation: You and Me make Us. Something happens in that space of co-creation where intimacy happens, something invisible and magical, something sacred, spiritual in nature. A bridge is built, upon which there is a steady stream of energy flowing back and forth, an exchange of essences, where understanding and closeness are achieved, where an indestructible bond develops. Us is sacred, one of a kind, special and unique unto itself, just as You and Me are special and unique. Us becomes an entity unto itself and a source of vital nourishment."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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