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Believe in a Peaceful Relationship and Intend to Have One

Peace flagEach week, we link to some articles that cover the topic of our post. Sometimes they list ways to behave and studies to support their case, but the key difference with our writing is that we draw on our own personal experience. We started our books and our blogging to describe a relationship filled with peace and harmony, and to make it clear that, since it exists, it is possible for you to experience it as well.

As our writing continued, we recognized more and more aspects of what we do (and don’t do!) to maintain our stress-free and joyous relationship. These practices can be applied to all relationships.

What we describe is very different from the usual view of relationships. For many people the idea is so alien or unknown that it is initially not possible to believe a relationship could be like this. Yet everybody has had at some time a dream or a hope about such a relationship. Perhaps you have observed this during your life, had a taste of it, or find yourself in such a partnership and want to improve it even further. Perhaps you have never encountered something like this except in stories, and yet you long for such a way of relating.

We hope to help you form that strong image by sharing with you our experiences. We cover the areas of individuality, acceptance, core values, listening and being present. Using these, you can transform conflict into a dance of mutuality. By reading how we live peacefully, week in and week out, we hope you will recognize and relate to this possibility, and develop a belief in your ability to have such relationships.

It requires a firm belief in the possibility of such a relationship before you can have one. If you think a relationship sometimes requires using conflict to defend your needs, then you will be tempted to use that approach. If you feel that you do not deserve a joyous relationship, you may be tempted to sabotage it. Only a belief in the possibility enables you to look for it.

There is one more requirement: that this is actually what you want. Maybe some people enjoy the thrill of adrenaline and the struggle to be right. Maybe some people are so comfortable with their role of martyr or victim that the cost is worth it. But if you believe a joyous relationship is possible, then you can manifest it into existence by intention.

As you formulate your image do not allow yourself to be distracted by arguments and disagreements or discord. It becomes necessary to hold fast to your belief and intention and to understand how to glide over those bumps. They are not proofs of the impossibility of realizing your intentions, they are simply attributes of old beliefs and past actions.

In the end, it still comes down to the basic statement – these kind of relationships exist and if you have that intention and formulate a clear strong image, you can bring it into reality.

Photo credit: Phil Mayes
Photo note: Taken from a scroll at our front door.

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Successful Relationship Reading Corner


Books on shelfThis week, we said that you have to believe in a peaceful relationship and intend to have one. Here are some other people on belief and intention, plus a post of our from some time ago with the same message in different words.

The 4 Qualities Of A Conscious Relationship, From A Marriage Therapist "Why do people struggle so hard to make relationships work? Part of the reason is because we're entering into relationships for the wrong reasons. People find themselves unsatisfied in love because they lack a true purpose for being in it. The antidote? Moving toward what I like to call conscious relationships."

How to Attract Peaceful & Nurturing Relationships "I remember being in one romantic relationship where the fighting seemed endless. It reflected everything I didn’t want in my life, but it also reflected my subconscious beliefs. Beliefs that relationships can’t ever feel easy, that they had to hurt, that they had to weaken us. Beliefs that I wasn’t good enough to expect something better. I knew it was those beliefs that brought that relationship into my life. Eventually, I just couldn’t take it anymore… I wanted peace. I wanted understanding. I wanted my relationships to feel calm, nurturing and, most of all, respectful."

Why Are Intention and Belief Important in Relationships? This is a post of ours from 2015 "There are but two simple steps to having a wonderful relationship: believing such a relationship can exist, and intending to have one. It can’t be that simple, you say, or everyone would do it. Well, it is, yet they don’t. Let me explain in more detail."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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