Believe in a Peaceful Relationship and Intend to Have One

Believe in a Peaceful Relationship and Intend to Have One

Each week, we link to some articles that cover the topic of our post. Sometimes they list ways to behave and studies to support their case, but the key difference with our writing is that we draw on our own personal experience. We started our books and our blogging to describe a relationship filled with peace and harmony, and to make it clear that, since it exists, it is possible for you to experience it as well.

As our writing continued, we recognized more and more aspects of what we do (and don’t do!) to maintain our stress-free and joyous relationship. These practices can be applied to all relationships.

What we describe is very different from the usual view of relationships. For many people the idea is so alien or unknown that it is initially not possible to believe a relationship could be like this. Yet everybody has had at some time a dream or a hope about such a relationship. Perhaps you have observed this during your life, had a taste of it, or find yourself in such a partnership and want to improve it even further. Perhaps you have never encountered something like this except in stories, and yet you long for such a way of relating.

A harmonious relationship requires a firm belief in its possibility and the intention to have one Click To TweetWe hope to help you form that strong image by sharing with you our experiences. We cover the areas of individuality, acceptance, core values, listening and being present. Using these, you can transform conflict into a dance of mutuality. By reading how we live peacefully, week in and week out, we hope you will recognize and relate to this possibility, and develop a belief in your ability to have such relationships.

It requires a firm belief in the possibility of such a relationship before you can have one. If you think a relationship sometimes requires using conflict to defend your needs, then you will be tempted to use that approach. If you feel that you do not deserve a joyous relationship, you may be tempted to sabotage it. Only a belief in the possibility enables you to look for it.

There is one more requirement: that this is actually what you want. Maybe some people enjoy the thrill of adrenaline and the struggle to be right. Maybe some people are so comfortable with their role of martyr or victim that the cost is worth it. But if you believe a joyous relationship is possible, then you can manifest it into existence by intention.

As you formulate your image do not allow yourself to be distracted by arguments and disagreements or discord. It becomes necessary to hold fast to your belief and intention and to understand how to glide over those bumps. They are not proofs of the impossibility of realizing your intentions, they are simply attributes of old beliefs and past actions.

In the end, it still comes down to the basic statement – these kind of relationships exist and if you have that intention and formulate a clear strong image, you can bring it into reality.


Photo credit: Phil Mayes
Photo note: Taken from a scroll at our front door.

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6 Comments on “Believe in a Peaceful Relationship and Intend to Have One

  1. I loved this! “A harmonious relationship requires a firm belief in its possibility and the intention to have one”. Truly, we can’t have what we don’t believe in. Even if we have it, we won’t see it or feel it if we don’t believe it. Love and loving is such an excellent exercise in faith and proof of faith. It takes faith to believe in love, even when we’re in it. It is “just” a feeling after all. It takes a decision to go with the love and to nurture it, and to believe in our love for the other, and to believe in the other’s love for us.

    • I am intrigued by the whole issue of seeing what you expect to see, and so if you don’t believe something, you tend not to see it. It took a while for plate tectonics to be accepted despite significant evidence. The importance of cooperation was obscured by the focus on evolutionary competition.

    • We didn’t write about core values in this post, but we know that when your goals and values are in alignment, then arguments, discord and disagreements can be resolved by looking at what deeper needs they are trying to fulfil, and eventually finding a common position.

      This may not work for everyone. People have different degrees of trust in each other. Low trust people feel safer with more control and structure, and may not fit well with high-trust people.

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