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How to Stay Connected by Accepting Your Partner

We’ve had a very busy week. Maude had mid-month reports and a flood of uncommon work issues, and Phil took on some programming work, which for him is all-consuming. But we noticed last night that through it all, none of this affected our connection with each other; we didn’t withdraw into ourselves or snap at each other. In fact, the times we spend with each other help us move through turbulent times with equanimity because they remind us of who we are. When we are with each other, there are no barriers; we can be ourselves, whether that is anxious, sexual or joyous, and we can be like that because we accept each other fully. We take this sense of ourselves out into the world like a shield; the events of the day might affect how we are, but never who we are.

Assuming your core values match, then you have to accept your partner totally. (There’s one important caveat: this doesn’t include abuse, whether verbal or physical, and unfortunately, people often find that hard to recognize, instead blaming themselves. Check with a trusted friend to make sure this isn’t the case for you.) And how do you practice such acceptance?

Find out how by clicking here, as well as why we used the photo.

(Or listen to Phil read it to you.)

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog, we wrote about how to stay connected by accepting your partner. These links give a variety of thoughts about this topic.

Marriage Help: Do You Accept Or Tolerate Your Partner? "When your partner tolerates you (or, more accurately, tolerates something about you), s/he has to continuously expend energy in order to suppress feelings of judgment and criticism. In short, when you tolerate your partner, you will find that you’re frequently biting your tongue and sooner or later, you’ll erupt in frustration or anger. Acceptance, on the other hand, implies an openness to the other person, an openness to the differences that exist between you and your partner. When you accept your partner, you see and appreciate his/her uniqueness, and there is no need for emotional resistance—there is no withholding, no need to emotionally hide from one another."

A Lasting Romance Is Built on Flaws: 6 Tips for a Strong Relationship "It’s human nature to size up a potential partner by drawing from past experience. There are so many ways to catalog the possible flaws: He’s too short. She’s too tall. Too fat. Too thin. Not enough education. Too much education. Or you become judgmental about how much your date eats or drinks or how they interact with other people. The perceived flaws get in the way of making a connection. It’s like the three bears’ approach to dating, looking for that partner who is “just right.” Too often we make the mistake of looking for a mirror of ourselves in a partner."

Emotional Connection: What it is and how to get it "What is emotional connection? It’s an overused term that means many things. In this context, emotional connection is not just affection, terms of endearment, or closeness in day-to-day living.  Rather, it is the knowledge that your partner empathizes with you and will turn toward you when you need them.  Emotional connection is the kind of primal safety you get from knowing that you are seen, valued, and comforted in your most vulnerable moments."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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