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Do You Have to Work Hard in a Relationship?

Since words truly have power, we have decided it’s time to tackle some of the misleading words we are inundated with concerning relationships. We are bombarded with information that tells us relationships inevitably have conflict, that we have to work hard in a relationship and that compromise is the path to success. This week and next week we will discuss two of the prime propaganda words applied to relationships.

How many times have you heard that relationships need work, lots of work, hard work? We challenge this and further state that it’s another of those dangerous myths that perpetuate a misleading view of relationships. Its metaphor is that there is a spring between you that sporadically pushes you apart, and you have to struggle and work against this force in order to stay together.

Click here to find out why this is a myth.

Don't myth out on Phil reading this :-)

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog, we say that having to work hard in a relationship is a myth. A funny thing happened when we looked for links. Almost all of the articles described the "myth" as being the other way around: that relationships actually do need work. Here are some rare exceptions that disagree.

Seven Reasons Why Relationship Feels So Hard Sometimes "Relationships are complex. In a partnership, you have two individuals, with different personalities, ways of relating, expectations, and desires; not to mention differences in family upbringing, gender, culture, class, and beliefs. The list of ways you and your partner can be different is lengthy, but the point is that there are going to be times when you and your partner have vastly different perspectives. When encountering such difference, it is natural and normal to experience discomfort and feel as though there is a problem. However, differences are not inherently bad. They do not have to result in power struggles, arguments, and threats to the relationship."

The Biggest Relationship Myth "It’s hard to avoid it, the biggest relationship myth. Everyone tells it to us. Family, friends, chick flicks, books, magazines, music lyrics – heck, we even propagate this myth to ourselves.
Relationships are hard work.
Relationships aren’t supposed to be simple.
Relationships are messy.
Or, as Coldplay simply puts it, “Nobody said it was easy.”
Wait, you’re wondering, how is this a myth? Relationships are hard work. Good relationships aren’t supposed to be easy. My relationship is messy. Before you angrily close the page or write me an irritated comment, hear me out."

An 81-year marriage is impressive, but it shouldn't be fetishised "I find the 'relationships are hard work' mantra questionable at best, and harmful at worst. There are many with vested interests in keeping people, particularly women, in unhealthy relationships to preserve social order. Relationships shouldn’t be hard work. Relationships survive because of luck and happy willing effort. I have seen people work their guts out and grow apart, and others cruise along, happily growing around each other like trellised roses."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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