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Why Intimacy is Important in Relationships

In viewing our relationship and from interviews with successful couples, one of the areas we have found to be of universal importance is intimacy. It is a basic need of people, so they seek or are in a relationship as a means of having that experience.

For true intimacy to exist, a number of factors have to be present. The feeling of safety is primary, and Maslow ranks that as even more important than belonging. This explains Phil’s behavior in some earlier relationships where he would get close, feel the need to leave, flee, then feel alone and rekindle the relationship, only to repeat the cycle. Ah, if only he’d been able to read this blog post!

Think of safety like a castle that protects you against the world. The thicker the walls, the safer you are, but how are you going to eat? Amazon Prime doesn’t deliver in this realm. The route to sustained intimacy requires coming out from behind those walls and being able to feel safe with another person.

Click here to find out how..

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Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog, we wrote about intimacy in a relationship. Here are some accompanying articles. The first is unusually insightful about the structure of relationships.

Intimacy: The Art of Relationships This is a long but really impressive article on relationships; we encourage you to read it in its entirety. Some excerpts: "Most marriage partners don't even know they expected something until they realize that they're not getting it.... there are skills that have to be learned so that such interaction can be safe. Both partners need to learn how to listen without judging or giving unwanted advice.... Expressing your feelings about a given situation and asking for your partner's honesty in return is the most significant way to discover truth in your relationship. Instead, most communication between intimates is nonverbal and leans heavily on mind reading.... One of the simple truths of relationships is that often enough, all we need to do to resolve a problem is to listen to our partner--not just passively listen but truly hear what is in the mind and in the heart.... All it requires is listening with empathy, and the experience becomes a source of pleasure for both of them."

How to Feel Close and Connected in Your Relationship Again "When we’re feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in our relationships, we often believe that we need something more from the other person. We think that in order for us to be happy, the other person needs to be or do something different. While it may be true that sometimes there are some changes we need to make, oftentimes being happy and getting what we desire has more to do with our own awareness."

The 5 Stages Of Intimacy (And Why You Need To Know Where YOU Are) "We've all heard of the five stages of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Believe it or not, grief and intimacy mirror one another—the intensity, the dullness, the gains, and the loss."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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