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The Myth of Difference Causing Problems in a Relationship

For the last several weeks we have been writing about the popular myths concerning relationships.

This week we would like to debunk another one of those myths that is deeply embedded in our minds and our culture. This states that differences between people in a relationship automatically cause distance, fighting, argument and estrangement. This myth suggests that there are ways to work around it, but that all couples will encounter this problem.

We think that these thoughts, which have been stated in so many ways, have become part of the group consciousness. Most people believe they are true as a result of hearing them stated as fact for so long. 

But is it really true that differences are sources of inevitable conflict? Let’s take a closer look at that.

Click here to take a closer look

or click here to take a closer listen.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog, we write about the myth that differences cause problems in a relationship. Here are some articles that also discuss this topic.

How the Differences in Your Relationship Can Be Gifts "It’s in our nature as humans to gravitate towards those who have interests similar to our own. And in many ways, this serves us well. On the other hand, it doesn’t leave much room for experiencing all that life has to offer.... By opening ourselves up to another way of living and being, we can make more educated decisions about what we want our own lives to look like. These varied life experiences allow us to express ourselves more fully and be more authentically present in the world."

How To Understand Personality Differences... For Happier Relationships
"You are so disorganized.
No, I’m not. I’m flexible. You’re just being inflexible.
Which is it? Disorganized or flexible?
I’ve heard it both ways.
Here’s the thing. We’re always looking at the world through the lens of our personality style. And since people have this self-affirming bias, there is a tendency for them — a healthy one really — to value characteristics that they perceive in themselves. If I’m organized, I tend to view it as a valuable thing."

Differences, incompatibilities and marriage success "What's important is not so much the degree or type of difference. It's how couples manage their areas of difference and incompatibility, and whether their relationship style is appropriate for the degree and type of differences and similarities that they have. It's especially important that they take advantage of their areas of similarity to maintain a positive emotional tone. Couples must avoid becoming stuck in trying to convert their partner to adopt their viewpoint."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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