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What Active Listening Can Do For Your Relationship

We recently participated in a course for couples at our local Adult Education center. It’s fun to interact with a group of couples discussing and sharing their direct experience. One of the techniques for listening that the instructor had the participants try was what is called “mirroring”. This is where you listen attentively to what is being said to you and then repeat back to the person what you have heard before commenting. This is a great technique for learning to pay attention to the person speaking. It helps you to be quiet and hear what is being said, as well as preventing you from being in your head preparing what your response is going to be.

This technique is a great step towards real active listening, but it is just a station along the way. When you are really listening, you are paying attention to the whole person. You are hearing the language of their body, their expressions, and their heart speaking to you. Even with mirroring, although you are hearing what the person is saying to you, you are also busy in your mind remembering what they said so you can repeat it back. You are to a certain extent busy with the future rather than the present.

The type of active listening that we find critical to peaceful relating creates... Aha! Click here to read the rest. Or click here for Phil to read it to you.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog, we wrote on what active listening can do for your relationship; here are some articles that help with understanding what is involved.

Deep Listening in Personal Relationships "One study conducted by Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two different types of listening: “listening to understand” and “listening to respond.” Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others. While people may think they might be listening to understand, what they’re really doing is waiting to respond."

Practicing Active Listening Can Improve Your Relationship "In this article, I am going to highlight what active listening entails. If you find yourself thinking you and your partner have communication problems, and aren’t quite sure about how to fix them, I want you to know that practicing active listening can greatly improve how you communicate and will ultimately help your relationship."

Why and How Active Listening Skills Can Improve Your Relationship "One way to become a better listener is to practice something called active listening. Usually when people have a conversation, part of their minds are elsewhere. They may be distracted by something they have to do after the conversation or, instead of listening attentively, they are thinking of what to say when it’s their turn to talk, like a counterargument."


Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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