Home Archive Prev Next

Now is the Time for Learning How To Relate Peacefully

Two childrenAmidst the pressures of global warming, political upheaval and Covid-19, relationships are more precious and more important than ever. Divisiveness seems to be at an all time high, making methods of finding mutual solutions and learning how to hear each other even more critical than they are normally.

And what is normal? It is becoming increasingly clear that whatever we once considered ‘normal’ is already altered and that we are only at the very beginning of a global transformation in this regard.

We have found the protests of the last three weeks very inspiring and hopeful. To see so many people of every age and color speak out together feels like the spirit of America in the Declaration of Independence has risen from its sleep and spoken. We are not alone in seeing this. Writers everywhere are noting how powerful a movement this is.

We wrote last week about how we each draw strength from our relationship, so we won’t reiterate that, but these times make that very visible. By removing opportunities for distractions like going out, and by changing so much, both now and in the future, the coronavirus has made us very aware of what is unchanged in our lives: where we live, our core sense of self, and our relationship with each other.

Most of us are realizing just how critical all our relationships are to us for our physical and mental well-being. Unexpected consequences of the pandemic have been an ability to connect with friends and family intimately through Zoom and online meeting formats right in our own homes, regardless of physical distance. This has opened up possibilities that previously were mostly reserved for business use.

Our very busy daily lives have in many cases come to a halt, as so many of us shelter in place. Even as things are opening up slowly, there does not appear to be a return to the pre-pandemic level of running and scurrying about that so many peoples’ lives contained. A new level of mindfulness seems to have entered relationships for many people. We are all taking less for granted having lived through the sudden realization of how quickly the basic aspects of our lives can change, how ephemeral they are.

A check we mailed to the IRS was stolen en route and has led to all sorts of further complications and hours on the phone. You don’t need the details; the point is that it’s the kind of event that takes up not only clock time, but runs around in one’s head saying what if, could we, why didn’t we. This alternates with a quiet centered part that says it’s just stuff, it’ll sort out eventually, what’s for dinner.

So all of these live within us: the bank debacle, the hope for the future, the solidity of our relationship with each other, and that still center. The more aware we become, the more we can recognize that place, rest there for a moment, and draw strength before the next wave dashes against us and demands our attention.

This is a perfect moment to commit to learning and practicing tools for peaceful conflict-free relating. We can turn these challenges into opportunities for positive change and a heightened awareness of how we relate to each other. This is an ideal time for breaking out of old patterns and trying new ways to solve things together.

Photo of Maude and Jan; credit: Sam Amato

Let us know any questions or comments you have by clicking here and leaving them directly on the blog.. 
 Headphone iconClick here to listen to Phil reading this blog.

We are hosting an Online Workshop on creating conflict-free, loving relationships. In this workshop, we are teaching:

  • How to honor individuality within relationships
  • How to transform your relationships through radical acceptance
  • How to avoid the pitfalls that create separation and estrangement
  • How to find mutual solutions to decision making and problem-solving

There will be breakouts where you will be working with each other in separate meeting rooms and an open question and answer session at the end. Participation is limited, so reserve your spot now. Suggested donation is $10. Click here to register.

This will be a Zoom meeting and the timezone is Pacific Daylight Time.

We will email further instructions after registration.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner

BookshelfIn this week's blog, we wrote about how to live peacefully in the midst of all the turmoil in the world. Here are some other voices with sage advice.

How to Live in Peace WikiHow is a collaborative site like Wikipedia that, despite its appearance, often has very good peer-reviewed articles. "Living in peace is about living harmoniously with yourself, others, and all sentient beings around you. While you will find your own meanings of peaceful existence and outward manifestations of a peaceful life according to your beliefs and lifestyle, there are some basics underpinning living in peace that cannot be overlooked, such as being non-violent, being tolerant, holding moderate views, and celebrating wondrous-life."

How to be Calm and Peaceful Under Difficult Circumstances "It’s not easy is it? Keeping our mind focused, especially in the midst of challenges or difficult circumstances. So how do we do that throughout the difficulties life can and far too often does bring? Learning how to focus our mind to be calm and peaceful is very important and often can determine our success both in the outer physical and inner spiritual world." 

7 Ways To Feel Content With Your Life Right Now "Contentment, or the state of being content, is about peaceful satisfaction. It involves appreciating what you have and where you are in life, rather than wishing things were different. Of course, I’m not saying you should simply settle for a life that doesn’t bring you joy. Rather, you should continue to dream big, set goals for yourself, and work towards them diligently – just remember to enjoy the journey and not rush to make it happen." 



Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
Read our blogs at PhilAndMaude.
Like us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram
Email us at philandmaude@philandmaude.com
If you are interested in newsletters you've missed, see our archive.
Do you know anyone who would enjoy this newsletter? Tell them to sign up at http://philandmaude.com/howtwo/.