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Why You Need Time Apart in Your Relationship

I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other. Rainer Maria Rilke

In a recent blog we discussed sacred space and how important it is to create time on a regular basis for you and your partner to be together. The complement of sacred space is finding time to be apart. We say complement because these are both important and they work best when both are balanced within your relationship.

It is vital to a peaceful relationship to create time apart, outside of the obligations and responsibilities of work, upkeep activities and childcare, to name a few. This should be unscheduled time that is yours to fill as you will with friends, other activities, and even being entirely alone. The key part here is that you are enjoying time without your partner, as well as the sacred regular time you two take to be together.

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Book Report

The glitch in the digital universe which has reduced the price of our book to $6.99 is still there?!!! even though we changed the price back to $14.95. It's a great opportunity for Valentines Day, so grab some copies and give them as gifts! How Two: Have a Successful Relationship

If you live near Santa Barbara, the book is also available in the library under Local Authors and also at Chaucer's.

Phil and Maude’s Friday Feature: Tina Tessina and Riley Smith

We occasionally publish a Friday Feature on peace and relationship workers, and we've just featured Tina Tessina and Riley Smith.

Phil came across “How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free” by Tina Tessina and Riley Smith in our local library, and was delighted to find a sympathetic view. Chapter 1 starts out: “In 15 years of working with couples in private therapy and workshops, we have found that no matter how unsolvable a problem seems to the couple presenting it, when we help them apply Cooperative Problem Solving, a solution can always be found.”


Successful Relationship Reading Corner

In this week's blog we wrote about why you need time apart in your relationship. We have some links about this for you.

Be Apart to Stay Together "New research shows that happy long-married couples often say their secret is, “We give each other space.” According to an unpublished study by Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research, having enough space or privacy in a relationship is more important for a couple’s happiness than having a good sex life."

10 Relationship benefits of spending time away from your partner "If you are part of a couple there are many benefits alone-time can bring to your relationship. Here are some tips for how to make the most of your time with yourself in order to benefit your partnership."

Why spending time apart is super healthy for your relationship (pdf) "The fact that you are married or committed to each other does not mean that you have to spend all your time together. This is such a common misunderstanding in many couples. They tend to believe that the fact that you spend a week holidays apart or that you have a night out with your friends are signs that something is wrong with your relationship. Not at all!"

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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