Why You Need Time Apart in Your Relationship

I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other. Rainer Maria Rilke

In a recent blog we discussed sacred space and how important it is to create time on a regular basis for you and your partner to be together. The complement of sacred space is finding time to be apart. We say complement because these are both important and they work best when both are balanced within your relationship.

It is vital to a peaceful relationship to create time apart, outside of the obligations and responsibilities of work, upkeep activities and childcare, to name a few. This should be unscheduled time that is yours to fill as you will with friends, other activities, and even being entirely alone. The key part here is that you are enjoying time without your partner, as well as the sacred regular time you two take to be together.

This is important because we all need a sense of self. The question of the nature of the self and the extent to which we measure ourselves by the judgments of others are complex issues, and we don’t want to dive into that here. We are both individual and connected – to our partner, to others, to the universe – and the more we can recognize both aspects of that paradox, the more balanced and alive we can be

It is vital to a peaceful relationship to create time apart. #relationships #quote #marriage #dating Click To TweetOne of the great things you will recognize when you do this regularly is that although you are not with your partner, you do not feel separated from them. In order to have this wonderful connected understanding, you need to feel trust and know there is an unqualified commitment from both of you to the relationship. This kind of connection fosters two distinct individuals who are able to also function as, and partake of, a merged self through union. There is an art to learning how to function together and at the same time maintain your distinct individuality, and learning and practicing this strengthens each of you and your partnership.

This lack of a sense of disconnection makes it wonderfully natural to move back and forth between time together and time apart without any tension or disruption of the relationship. The overriding understanding that you are both on the same side and the knowledge that you are always in support of each other brings with it a profound sense of peace and freedom.

By being conscious of the balance of intimacy and separation, and how each fulfill our needs for connection and integrity, you will expand your world.

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