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You Have to Accept Love So You Can Be Loved

Last week in our blog, we wrote “Learning to accept love is one of the great skills of life.” This line came from the way Phil used to handle compliments some years ago. He would deflect compliments about, say, a salad with a disclaimer like “Oh, but it had too much onion.”

There are a number of things to point out here. Firstly, love is being used in the broadest possible sense. A deflection about the balance of onion can come from feeling unable to make a salad that meets the standards that other people demand. Even when being praised for the salad, Phil did not feel worthy of that praise and love.

This changed when Phil recognized the absurdity of this behavior, and instead started responding to compliments with “Thank you.”

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Successful Relationship Reading Corner

This week in our blog we discussed giving and receiving love, and we've found some great articles about this.

5 Reasons Why Receiving Is Harder Than Giving "...there are hidden downsides to prioritizing giving over receiving. I’m referring to interpersonal relating, not social policy, which could use a hearty dose of the golden rule. Is it difficult for you to receive love, caring, and compliments? Do you silently squirm inside when someone offers a kind word or a present—or do you allow yourself to deeply receive the gift of kindness, caring, and connection?"

How To Strike the Right Balance Between Giving and Receiving Love "Love is not a balance sheet. Having said that, we don’t wish to be the one that is giving all of the time or receiving all of the time as it can create resentment on the part of the giver. So, how do we balance this? Give when you desire to give and don’t give when you consider the giving an obligation. This is being respectful of you."

The Importance of Learning How to Receive Love "Why is receiving seen as such a negative thing? It can be seen as selfish, taking, needy, wrong, etc. Yet receiving is half of the equation for reciprocity – without a receiver, you can’t have a giver.... It’s almost like as a society we have all been given this message that the highest form of value is to give, and that value is determined by whoever gives the most or whoever serves the most."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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