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Why You Need to be Present in Your Relationship

We tend to think of the present as being just one frame in the film of life, to be immediately replaced by the next frame from the reel, or these days, from the digital stream. But it is a mistake to give all these frames equal validity. The past and future frames do not exist except as ideas within our head of how the world has been and will be. They are shadows of the real world.

So to be present, put your attention on what actually is, rather than the ghostly past or future. You find it through your senses and your intuitions. It exists, but there are no words for it. It is timeless; the present never ends.

A primary key to a peaceful successful relationship is being together in presence. When you feel totally accepted, you are able to let down the barriers that keep you apart. The feeling of being heard, and of being acknowledged for who you are and what you do is very calming and supportive. It leads to a different kind of behavior and gives your relationship a totally different strength and quality. 

When you approach your relationship with presence, when you relate to each other as loved ones, as family and as friends with whom you do not need to defend yourself, you are offering your whole self. Stepping into a space where you are fully with your partner makes a palpable difference. It is what we call a sacred space.

Excuse us if you know this already, but it has come to our attention that many of you do not realize that what is in the newsletter is only an EXCERPT of the full blog article. Please click on the hotlinks below the blog excerpt (safe and secure) to read or hear Phil read the FULL BLOG ARTICLE!!

Click here to read the full blog article, or click here for Phil to read it to you.

Calling all locals!

We're appearing at the Carpinteria Festival of Books on Sunday, June 10, 1:30 - 4:00 at Carpinteria Women's Club, 1059 Vallecito Rd. (map)

We hope to see you all there! If you haven't got a copy of our book yet or want copies as gifts, there will be a special show price. We can sign them, too!

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog we wrote about why you need to be present in your relationship. Here are some articles about aspects of presence.

Mind Your Presence, It Matters "I think that most people—whatever their preferences or principles might be—can get behind the notion that the world would benefit from more peace and understanding. But regardless of how monumental it might seem to accomplish that, it starts in small and simple ways. It starts with you and me, right here and now. ... I invite you to consider how you can begin to get intentional about the way you show up in the interpersonal encounters of your daily life."

6 Ways to Bring More Presence and Connection to Your Relationships "When was the last time you looked into the eyes of a stranger such as a guy taking your order or the woman at the checkout and really acknowledged their presence? Actually, when was the last time you looked into the eyes of your partner or your children for a prolonged stretch of time? In our hectic lives, we are always so busy trying to accomplish one thing or another, that it’s easy to become distracted and disconnected from the people around us. Here are my 6 top tips on how to bring more presence and connection into our everyday encounters with people."

Your Brain, Mindful Presence and Five Practices to Energize Your Relationship, 2 of 2 "You want happiness? The best option is to grow your ability to empathically connect to your self and partner, in present moments of awareness. It’s a way of knowing, understand your self, and life around you that is connected to your compassion, and that allows you to best understand and empathically connect to your partner."

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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