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Do You Need to be Mature for a Conflict-Free Relationship?

Some years ago we were doing an interview with Bill Weil of Conscious Couples Conversations and he asked us if we thought maturity had anything to do with having a peaceful relationship. This past weekend we were at an indie author book fair, and a marriage and family counselor approached us and asked the same question.

We have asked ourselves the same question a number of times. The short answer is yes, we do feel that a certain level of experience is necessary for this type of relationship. But what does that mean? When we were talking with Bill Weil, he hastened to clarify that he did not mean age per se. He noted that his son, who was in his 20’s at the time, was quite mature, having worked on himself consciously for quite a while.

That is one of the most important parts of what we think is necessary. You have to have worked on yourself. You have to have come to know yourself. We are not suggesting that this journey needs to be completed (or is ever completed), but you need to have reflected, observed and come to understand who you are and what you want.

Click here to read more about this, or click here for Phil to read it.

Book Fair

We had fun at the Book Fair in Carpinteria last Sunday.

Successful Relationship Reading Corner


In this week's blog we asked if you need to be mature for a conflict-free relationship. Here are some other peoples' writings on the subject.

How to Have a Mature Relationship Although WikiHow has a cartoon look to it, we find that the advice is often spot on. "Mature adult relationships are founded on good communication and trust. When these factors are in place, both partners feel supported by and committed to the relationship. If you want to help your relationship mature, work on building a healthy bond, developing positive communication habits, and improving trust between you and your partner. It may also help to get insight into your past habits to solve common relationship problems."

3 Things Emotionally Mature Couples Do "A mature relationship lives by this peace of mind; immature ones drown in it. There's no real drama. Because drama is for kids. Drama is for people who don't know how to have a relationship — who live by idealistic, preconceived notions that love must be wild and obsessive. Love is easy. It's the easiest thing you've ever done. It's the calmest place in your life, the safest blanket you've ever worn. It's something that happens naturally; it doesn't need to be fought for day in and day out."

Difference Between A Mature Relationship And An Immature Relationship "Emotional maturity is an essential ingredient in creating a stable, loving, and long-lasting relationship. It does not come naturally with age. Couples who have been married 30 plus years and are still locked in a power struggle have not yet achieved emotional maturity as they are often stuck in the blame game and the cycle of reactivity. Emotionally mature couples have developed healthy habits that have enabled them to take the higher road and have led them to create fulfilling relationships. Here are three things emotionally mature couples do:"

Spreading peace one relationship at a time
Phil and Maude
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