Successful Relationships Reading Corner
This week, we wrote about how your connections expand your world beyond yourself. Here are some previous posts on the topic of connections from different points of view.
How Relationships and Community Fulfill the Same Need for Connection “In this culture, there is a strong focus on the individual. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself, to stay alive, to plan for the future. And yet, we are not a solitary species; we are a social species who need each other to survive. This is an intrinsic part of our nature, and connecting with others fills a deep longing. Personal relationships also fulfill the same need for connection. Of course, you have to be open to sharing yourself and open to accepting the other person as they are, appreciating the shock of difference and enjoying the recognition of similarity. Easy to say, harder to do, as we all have our own ideas about how things should be. Letting go of that need to control is the key to being open and connecting. The more you can do that, the more that itch for connection gets scratched.”
Why Communicating Strengthens the Connection in Your Relationships “Last night Phil and I were sitting together, and we started talking about how each of us was feeling. The conversation wasn’t about anything big or life-changing. It turned out that neither of us was feeling really right, but it was a kind of diffuse, hard to locate and describe sensation. Both of us felt a bit at odds, off-center. These feelings had nothing to do with each other, except that each of us had similar feelings within ourselves. As we talked and shared, something different began to emerge. While each of us strove to put into words the experience we were having, something shifted for both of us. Reaching out and sharing with each other, as well as using words to catch the elusive sensations each of us had, transformed how we felt. It happened slowly, and almost without notice. It emphasized for both of us just how important talking with each other is, even when we are not trying to solve anything or make decisions.”
Why Being in Continuous Connection is Vital for Peaceful Relationships “What we are trying to do in these posts is to describe how we are in as much detail as possible so that you, dear readers, can share our experience of living in peace. We have said before that this happens because we are on the same side, and these words offer a vivid image, but how does that actually happen? It comes from our sense of connection, and this is very much a sense; something that I do not question any more than I question the fact that I am sitting here typing. Let’s talk about the Grand Canyon. Having seen it, you would not later confuse it with Bryce Canyon, and similarly, once you know someone, you do not confuse them with someone else; they are unique, just as the Grand Canyon is. This knowledge of another is a sense of who they are. My sense of Maude is of openness, caring, and sharing. It makes it easy to be with her. You may call this grace or luck, but there is also an intentionality about how we are together. We know what to avoid, and that is being rude, being short, being catty, being disconnected, out of reach, snippy. It is (relatively) easy to avoid those attitudes because I know her essential goodness; such criticism would not be justified. And how do I know? To repeat myself, I have a sense of who she is that comes from (or maybe is) our sense of connection.”