One of the things that I love about how we are together is the lack of either one of us ‘needing to be right’ or being concerned with ‘who is right’. When we listen to each other as we are talking together, we are actually listening. We are not just in our head, waiting for the moment when we can talk again about why our opinion is the correct one. In fact, both of us seem to really get off on the fact that the other one has different ideas and doesn’t see everything exactly as we do. These differences are not really sources for actual conflict. They are not differences in meanings and values. I feel that in so many relationships, the sharing is more like a debate or an argument. Things that are often of no consequence or actual substance, become the areas of intense struggle, all in the name of ‘who is right’!
By eliminating this type of back and forth altogether, we seem to wind up in a miraculous space. We go to an area where we share what each of us feels and thinks and even as we are talking, something begins to occur. We start to hear new ideas, things that aren’t exactly from either of us, but yet have the best of what each of us has contributed. By the time we are done, we usually have a new creation, an answer to our problem or a plan for action that is much better than anything either of us came up with.
It really feels like magic and it happens every time.
P. 28 “Secrets of a Successful Relationship Revealed”.