February is a big month of special celebrating for us: it’s both our anniversary and Valentines Day. It is delicious to get together on such special occasions.
We love the sense of it being an occasion just for the two of us, where we come together and celebrate the pleasure of being in each other’s company.
We love that we set time aside that allows events to unfold without having to follow a timetable or an agenda.
We love that the feelings of peace and calm extend beyond the occasion into the rest of our life.
But in another way, it’s only special in being an opportunity to rejoice in each other’s company, the same rejoicing that we do throughout the year whenever we are together. It may be writ large on special occasions, but the sentiments and the joy are always present for us.
This may sound far fetched to most people, but we are sure that it’s possible. We can all make it our priority to be aware of and to value our relationships (all of them!). And here lies one of the great secrets of having successful relationships: they have to be given a conscious priority in our lives.
When we give our relationships priority, we give them our attention and our presence. We are with the other person and are experiencing them for who they are, apart from who we are or how we experience things. We are learning how they feel and what they want.
Being truly present in this way gives us invaluable information on our partner and what brings them pleasure and how we can celebrate them in a way that will be meaningful to them. This is an important aspect of the type of presence we are referring to: we are concerned with the partner here and learning about them by paying attention and truly listening.
This of course involves not taking your partner for granted and finding ways to let your partner know this is the case. It comes down to those critical three A’s: Acceptance, Appreciation and Acknowledgment. Often it is a small gesture, something that is not part of the everyday, but fits with your everyday life. Surprise and lightness will bring the kind of joyful experience that will keep you and your partner awake and aware of each other and stimulate both of you. Remain playful and creative and always aware and grateful. You can make every day be Valentines Day when you can find and express the pleasures that arise from your partnership.
Relationship Celebration List:
- Make your relationship a priority
- Give your relationship time and attention
- Be present with your partner
- Spend time together without an agenda
- Experience your partner for who they are
- Learn what brings your partner pleasure
- Do not take your partner for granted
- Listen to your partner
- Keep it light and full of surprises
- Remain playful and creative